From Soup to Nuts!

New Things...

2011-09-02T11:15:00.004-04:00

I can whistle! Yay!

LOL..so that's the excitement the last few months. Pretty uneventful here, as things just continue to move forward. I've lost feeling in part of my left cheek again and have pain every so often. Nothing bad, but it lets me know it's there. Maybe it's the cadaver bone talking to me - telling me that I'm not living life as it would like. Who knows. I'm happy to say that the number of sinus infections I get is far less than what it used to be. It's the little things that matter.

Still a few dental procedures to go through - have to get a crown on a molar that's cracked and time to finally replace all my fillings. This has to be done because through the years, I clenched my teeth so hard to try to find a good resting spot for my jaw that I literally wore them down to nothing. I've had two root canals in the last few months, they went swimmingly with no complications. I've managed to break not one, but two of my retainers so Dr. Gerlein just shakes his head at me. Finally got a third, a different kind this time, so cross your fingers for me that it remains intact. When I picked it up yesterday, Dr. Gerlein said I don't have to go back for 7 months. Yeah, right. Like I won't break *something* in those 7 months. He has more faith in me than I do! Besides, I'd miss them if I couldn't see them every couple of months. It's a part of my journey that I enjoyed so much - visiting the orthodontist. It's such a fantastic place. Dr. G and the girls - I can't say enough about them. If you need a top notch ortho, don't hesitate - go there. If I do nothing else today, I know I've done one good deed by giving credit where credit is due. Love you guys!

It's My Anniversary!

2011-05-11T17:33:00.013-04:00

Except not the married kind. Today marks one year of the "new me". May 11, 2010 was the day I went singing into surgery for my jaw. It has been a very long road - a lot of pain, a lot of stress and the recovery continues. I still struggle with loss of feeling, having to form words differently and eating, something I LOVE to do! The nerves are continuing to regenerate so something as simple as brushing my teeth is still painful in its own way and just an odd feeling all the way around. I still can't feel my gums. My bottom lip is still tingly but much better than it used to be. I knew going into this that I would never fully regain feeling in my face so I'm okay with it. Nevertheless, it still bugs me sometimes.

The best part of this? I am pain free!!!!!! Do you have any idea how nice it is to chew a piece of steak into little itty bitty pieces and THEN swallow it? Something so many of us take for granted, I couldn't do for years! And smiling. Okay, well, I was never so vain that I didn't smile because of how I looked. But hey, if they're gonna fix you AND make you look better, who am I to argue? At the risk of SOUNDING vain, let me just say that I smile at myself in the mirror every single morning. And I do it proudly! I'm happy with how I look. :)

So...for your viewing pleasure, I give you....my (musical) journey: (NOTE: The video is large so once you click on it, you may want to let it sit and buffer or it will continue to stop and start.)

My Journey

Getting To The Root Of The Problem...

2011-02-23T08:18:00.005-05:00

Ever been excited for a root canal? I have! And yesterday was the day. Really, never in my lifetime did I think I would be so excited for dental work. But, my tooth (#18 if you're wondering) has been quite uncomfortable for the last couple of weeks. Since Brian and I are leaving soon for the Caribbean, the docs thought it would be better to expedite the process and "git 'er done!" First things first, let me introduce to you another new doctor in my life - Dr. Michael Weber, Endodontist - or "just Mike", as he calls himself. Boy, am I happy my dentist referred me to him! What a great guy - smart, charming, witty - with a crude sense of humor. My kind of guy!! He shot me up with some novocaine and let it do its thing. He came back in about 10 minutes later and said, "Are we numb?" Huh...the weird thing is that I wasn't! He shook his head and said "Yep, I wondered about that - that's why I asked you what surgery you had done." I wouldn't have thought of this...but because they moved my jaws, the "normal" spot they would give you a shot isn't there anymore! So, a few shots later and I was happily drooling and chewing on myself. Let the fun begin!! It all started out well but became less than fun when he told me that it was a good thing I'd come in - two of my three roots were infected. No wonder I had pain. *sigh* Leave it to me to have something MORE wrong than just a plain old toothache. Oh, and did I mention that the tooth is cracked? Uh huh...yep, you got it! We'll work on that later. For now, he worked on the issue at hand - cleaning and irrigating the infection, then closing me up. Because one of the roots was fine, he was able to do that one 100% and get it packed and closed. The other two are now temporarily closed and I have a temporary filling in my tooth, I'm on antibiotics (500mg Amoxicillin for 10 days) and have to do salt water washes, as well. I'll go back when we return from our vacation to make sure my body has rid itself of the infection and then he can go ahead and make everything permanent.

But wait, there's more! When I was done and getting ready to leave, I felt as though I had a piece of something stuck towards the back of my mouth. You know that spot...kind of between the back of your mouth, next to your tongue...and you jusssst can't work it out. So, into the bathroom I go to see if I can get this chunk of whatever out of my mouth. I open my mouth in front of the mirror and, "Ahhhh, there it is - just a little white piece of something!" OW! "That thing is connected!" LOL Yep...towards the back of my mouth, to the left of that fun little dangly thing in your mouth (yes, I know the technical term for it but "fun little dangly thing" sounds much more exciting), is a white bump and it hurt! Why is it white? Well, because whatever it is is pushing through the skin and stretching it! I get the doctor and interrupted his lunch, to find out what on earth he left in my mouth, cause I'm convinced that's what he did. Wrong. It's a bone spur - and not just one, but two! I had to ask why I'd never noticed them before and he said that more than likely, with the movement of my jaw, they became more prominent and also because the sensor that they put back and forth into my mouth during the root canal had irritated the spots. I'll check with Dr. Penski next time I'm there and see if it's something I have to have taken care of. Joy.

Life Is Good!

2011-02-20T09:42:00.003-05:00

Oh my, I just realized that I haven't updated since going in to have the splint removed from my nose! I'll spare you the gory details because it wasn't pretty when they took it out, but wow!! What a difference! It's been some time now since having it removed and all is well! I can breathe - and I can breathe normally!!!! Finally!

Let me update you on what else is happening. Each day is better and better but things still continue to change. Where I once had feeling under my left eye, is now a bit numb again. I still have numbness in my bottom lip and gums but it's all workable and unless I am reminded of it, I really don't think about it much anymore. I'm still having a hard time using the Sonicare toothbrush because the nerves just don't like it and it sends shooting pain into my face from time to time. But in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing.

I've still got several dental items that need to be taken care of and we're slowly chipping away at them. The tooth (molar) that began this entire process (as my dentist so reminds me) is giving me trouble again so I'll be going in for a root canal on Tuesday. Another one down! :) Never thought I'd be looking forward to fillings, caps and root canals but now that I have this million dollar smile, I don't want to leave any stone unturned.

Something I haven't mentioned and would like to do so now. Over New Year's, I had the privilege of meeting a fellow jaw surgery patient and someone I am proud to call my friend. I began following Graham's blog shortly after I was home from the hospital (check my links for his blog) and the help he provided was priceless. I felt so alone and had so many questions and he helped me through. Brian and I made a trip to NYC for the New Year and it just so happened that Graham would be traveling there, as well. Suffice to say, there was NO way I would pass up a chance to meet. We did so and what a treat that was! We spent a couple of hours walking through Times Square, talking about our lives and getting to know one another better. The only complaint I have is that the visit was too short! I can't wait till we meet again! I'd like to share with you what I think is one of my most favorite pictures! The smiles say it all!

Take It Off!

2010-12-17T08:43:00.002-05:00

Finally! Today is the day - the splint comes out of my nose! My appointment with Dr. Troost is at 3:45 pm today and comes with mixed emotions. I'm anxious to have it removed because it really is a pain in the butt (errrr, nose??). I can feel it and it's still sitting right on my tickle spot and makes me sneeze endlessly! But...I know it's going to hurt like a b&*ch to have it removed! Think about it...this thing has been on my healing septum now for two weeks...you know darn good and well that it's grown along with it and that taking it off will feel like yanking pieces of my brain! LOL Okay, so maybe that's a bit over-dramatic, but I don't care...I'd rather go in with a pessimistic attitude, only to be surprised and walk out with a smile on my face!

Please, please, pleeeeeeaaaaaase let it not hurt! Updates later!

Holy Ouchies, Batman!

2010-12-04T11:39:00.004-05:00

I'm alive! I feel like someone is jabbing a knife into my brain, but I'm alive! Surgery on Thursday was a success! Although I went in a bit late (7:45 am), I was out and home just shortly after 11 am! Everything went smoothly. Dr. Troost took some cartilage from elsewhere in my nose (doesn't this create another hole???) and was able to patch the perforation on my septum. I left the hospital with a nose packed full of who knows what and some good drugs. The rest of that day is pretty much a blur and sleeping that evening was no fun. Yesterday (Friday) morning I had a doc appt. at 9:30 am to remove the packing and as a general follow up to make sure things went well. The trip in to DC was amusing in itself...you might want to ask Brian about it because apparently I was "a lot of fun". Pain meds will do that. And, the picture above shows what I looked like traveling in to the doc by metro - lovely, huh? Removing the packing - OW! OW! OW! May I just say that it was NO fun and I hope I never have to do that again? The pain was only momentary, but whew, did it hurt! How those 2 1/2 inch long pieces of whatever they were fit up there is beyond me! I swore he was pulling my brain out through my nose! LOL Once the tears cleared, I realized that I could sniff! And that my sniffer felt different! Yippee! I've still got a splint in my nose and will have for the next two weeks - he'll take it out on December 17th, just in time for Christmas! I still didn't sleep very well last night - now that the packing it out, I have a lot of clotting and drainage (sorry for the visual) and I'm very stuffy. My nose also burns like crazy inside! This will go away in a few days, or so the doc says. :) Other than these few things, I'm feeling surprisingly good today and am on the mend! I'm still restricted to no lifting or strenuous activities for 2 weeks, but the time will pass quickly, I'm sure. I do believe that this would be called progress!!

Stick A Fork In Me, I'm Done! Well, Almost...

2010-12-01T10:47:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow is the day. Let's hope we're close to an end to this nonsense they call recovery! I just received a phone call from Dr. Troost's office (he's my ENT, by the way). Surgery to repair my torn septum was originally scheduled at 9:15 am but I've been moved up so I go in at 7 am instead! If all goes well, I should be walking out of the hospital by noon! Keep your fingers crossed that it's fixable because they've said that although they believe they can take care of it, there's a chance it won't be 100% fixed. Ugh, that would SO not be fun!

For the record, my nose doesn't hurt and I'm not in any pain. But, the perforation makes breathing uncomfortable and it just plain feels weird! Try this on for size:

You go to McDonald's and buy yourself a fountain drink. You grab a straw. Soda in one hand, straw in the other...what do you do? You bang the straw on the counter to get it to poke through the paper. When you bang it too hard, what happens? Yep...the straw gets a perforation and when you try to drink through it, you have that "open air" feeling, you can't quite get the suction you need. It just doesn't work like it should, right?

This is how my nose feels when I breathe...it's incredibly irritating! And, I whistle. I've contemplated learning some songs and putting myself on the Letterman Show but so far, I haven't gotten a call back. Maybe another time. NOT!

Wish me luck! Maybe tomorrow will finally be the end of the carnival and someone will let me off this ride! Please? Anybody??

What Does Happiness Mean To You?

2010-11-29T12:02:00.008-05:00

I've asked myself this question time and time again. There are several answers to this.

Happiness is...Family
Happiness is...Good Health
Happiness is...Good Friends
Happiness is...Wealth
Happiness is...NO BRACES!!!!!!!!!

I am officially free of my braces! Or, as Ashley would say..."Mom's no longer a brace face". :)

November 23, 2010...it's a day I'll not soon forget. What a wonderful and exciting day. My appointment at Dr. Gerlein's office began at 11:55 am and what transpired was something amazing. I can't believe how it feels! I can't believe how it looks! And to be honest, I haven't stopped smiling since that day! I've never been vain, nor have I ever been too concerned about my looks. I did this to get rid of the pain of several years and not for looks. But for right now, I'm going to just enjoy this a little bit and not feel the least bit guilty about smiling at each mirror I pass! The before and after pics are to your right....judge for yourself and let me know what you think of the new me!

Some quick information. All told, it took about 2 hours for everything to be finished. First, they attached my permanent retainer behind my bottom front teeth. Then, they removed the brackets and wires! Heaven! I got to brush my teeth - sans metal! Yippee!!! Then, it was Dr. Gerlein's turn - time to get the glue off my teeth. I have to admit, it hurt a little bit but it's because I have so much sensitivity right now in my mouth with the nerve regeneration. But, it was a small and sweet victory when it was finished...all trace of "brace face" was gone! :) Once everything was cleaned off, it was time for some quick impressions. First, an impression of my upper jaw so they could make my retainer. Next, impressions of both top and bottom - "records" for Dr. Gerlein. I'll be famous! Because of the severity of my jaw issues and the transformation (without issue) that has taken place, Dr. Gerlein will be sending my case and records off to the Dental Boards for study. I'm not sure if this is something to be excited about or not! LOL

I MUST give credit where credit is due! On my left, the most wonderful orthodontist in the entire world - Dr. Gerlein. He is amazing and fantastic and I know that my experience with adult orthodontia would NOT have been the same had it not been for him. And on my right, Connie - just one of the several awesome and wonderful ladies that work in the office - the one who had the honor of setting me free!

Bracing For Change....

2010-11-20T11:10:00.002-05:00

We're getting close! I went to the orthodontist on Wednesday - had impressions done on my bottom jaw for my permanent retainer. It will, in fact, be a Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday for me with no braces! Yayyyy!

Sniffer Repair...

2010-11-01T00:26:00.004-04:00

It's been a while since I last posted, so sorry! Let me get you up to date on the latest happenings.

I can almost feel my chin....entirely! My top lip is no longer numb. The gums of my bottom jaw are beginning to regain just a small amount of feeling. I have zero, count it....ZERO....feeling in the gums of my upper jaw. The feeling on the roof of my mouth is almost all back so I no longer worry about burning the heck out of my mouth when eating pizza. The left side of my face under my eye is still a little numb, as is my bottom lip....but all very do-able. If no more feeling came back, I'd be absolutely fine with it!

Chewing is still difficult and I struggle with it daily. Talking, as much as I love to do it, is also difficult and I still have to think about many of the words my mouth is forming. I still spit and drool from time to time. If it bothers Brian, he keeps quiet. Such a wonderful husband. :) All in all, things are progressing nicely....except for....

...my nose. *sigh* As you all know, it's been giving me trouble since the surgery. Surgeon said it was normal, ENT said it wasn't. After three or so weeks of antibiotics, nasal sprays and ointments (and no changes), surgery is slated for December 2nd. At that time, he'll repair my torn septum so it feels right and I stop whistling and open up my turbinates a bit more so I can breathe normally. Yayyyy! Finally. No more whistlin' Dixie as a bedtime song! Ugh.

Surgery...as I said, December 2nd. It's an outpatient procedure, nothing like the one I had done in May!! I'll go back the following day and have the packing removed, then a couple more days of down time and I should be good to go! I'll be so glad when it's done!

I visited the orthodontist last week - had impressions done of my mouth. I go back this week on Wednesday and....drumroll....should find out when I get my braces off! He has to look at the models to see what final adjustments he has to make before they come off! But, it looks as if we're still on target for December sometime. If he doesn't have a date for me on Wed., he will at my next appt. I can't WAIT to know!

Although I'm still struggling with a few aspects of how I look....here I am!!!

Who "Nose"?

2010-09-27T18:36:00.003-04:00

Today's verdict? Not good news. At least it's not in my head (uhhh, well, I guess it kind of is..lol), there IS something wrong. :( Sadly, I have a tear in my septum and I guess the surgeon wasn't aggressive enough in cleaning out the turbinates and due to the changes in my nose, they're plugged and inflamed. This is why I can't breathe and the rip in the septum is causing the whistle and the pain. The tear is still bleeding and it's raw inside my nose and this is why I'm also having the issue of bleeding. So, back to doing very little - he doesn't want the blood pumping if it's not necessary, to let some of the inflammation go down. He also prescribed some medicine and some nose spray for comfort. Unfortunately, he doesn't expect they will do much and that I'll have to go back in to repair the damage. I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of being tired and it really pisses me off that my surgeon kept telling me that it was "normal". Ugh.

Day ?????

2010-09-25T12:53:00.002-04:00

I don't know the day and I'm done counting. If you want to know, you do the math :) Wow, May 11th seems like an eternity ago...yet it really hasn't been all that long. Crazy, huh?

Things are going pretty well, with the exception of my nose. I'm having troubles and it's time to get it checked out. I'm going to see Dr. Troost, my ENT, on Monday afternoon. I can't breathe well and my nose hurts. I've got some stuff coming out of my nose that just isn't right and isn't what I consider normal. I'll spare you the details. I'll keep you posted...I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats.

Aside from my nose, things are going pretty well. The swelling is going down and since it has, I can now feel the screws and brackets in my face. Creepy. They're tender to the touch which is good and bad...rough when I go to wash or wipe my face, but kinda neat that I finally have some sensation. The left side of my face is still a bit numb, as is my chin and bottom lip, but it's slowly repairing itself. I still get a vague sensation of drooling when I drink something, but it's not as bad as it used to be. My left cheek was almost back to normal and is now numb again. It comes and it goes. I'm used to it now. I think my chin is what I'm most excited about. Finally, the feeling is almost completely back. I like this because it was uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my gums are still almost completely numb yet I have some sensation so I still can't use my Sonicare toothbrush - have to do it manually. The vibration of the Sonicare is too much for my teeth to handle and becomes painful. This too, shall pass.

I had an orthodontist appointment about a week ago and we're on track! Besides a very minor adjustment, we're at the point now where we're just in a holding pattern. This means that we're on for the braces to come out of my mouth in December! Yes!!!!!!!! While total recovery is a long ways off, at least I can get the braces off and feel semi-normal again. Freedom! I see a big, fat Smith & Wollensky steak on the horizon and I can almost reach out and grab it. :)

Day 119 - Whoa...4 Months!

2010-09-05T13:33:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow will mark 4 months post-surgery. As a side note, it'll also mark Brian's birthday so we've got a couple of things to celebrate! Four months might not be much, but I'll admit it seems like it's been forever. Someone asked me the other day - if I had to do it all over again, would I go through with it? My answer: I'm not sure. I'm still having issues with my nose and it's uncomfortable and extremely irritating and I don't like my new face. Sometimes I look in the mirror and hope for the old me. I don't miss the pain I used to have, that I'll admit. I'm being impatient, I know...and I'm wanting things to just turn around so I can be done with this already! When will I be able to eat normally? When will my nose feel right again? When will I look "normal"? So many questions - somehow I don't think I'll get the answers anytime soon. Maybe once these are answered, I'll be able to answer the "would I do it again" question. When I asked my surgeon if what I was feeling in my nose was "normal", he said he didn't think there was anything wrong but if I want, I'm welcome to see the ENT. Hmmm, not sure I like being pawned off on another doc. Then again, he's done a few of these and probably knows what he's doing so I've taken his word for it and I'm letting things heal at their pace.

I don't notice daily changes, not even weekly changes. But, I DO have changes. I gave Brian a kiss the other day and realized that it didn't hurt anymore! I have regained almost all the feeling in my top lip now! My bottom lip is still pins and needles, but it doesn't hurt to the touch. However, if I run my tongue inside my lips and they stretch even a little bit, it's painful. Nerves, I guess. I still have slight numbness down the left side of my face but the right side is completely back to normal. My chin also has some numbness but it's MUCH better than it was. If I regained no more feeling than I have now, I'd be perfectly happy and could deal with it. As it stands now, I almost don't think about it anymore. These are the positive things I hang on to.

Day 104 - And On A Good Note...

2010-08-21T00:33:00.002-04:00

...nothing has changed! hahahaha

Past the 100 day mark, crazy huh? Part of me says, "Wow, it's already been 3 months??" and the other part of me says, "Ugh, it's ONLY been 3 months??" Don't get me wrong...I'm still glad I did this, I know that once I'm through the recovery period, I'll be SO happy. But for now, it's not fun, it's not easy and it's very frustrating. I don't always notice it, but my emotions run wild sometimes. I suppose I should just apologize now for the dumb things I do. lol

All I'm doing now is focusing on the orthodontic end of things. I have to go back in to see Dr. Gerlein on September 9th. So far, things are looking good and I'm on target to get these godforsaken braces removed in December. I just keep all crossables crossed that it'll happen!

I just recently went in to see Dr. Penski, my dentist. She's the one that started this entire chain of events! Love her! She's amazing! And for those that are looking for a fantastic dentist, she's the one! Anyway...I had my teeth cleaned at the beginning of August. They said that this is the first time my gums looked healthy - no problems at all! I don't remember the last time this happened but I'll take it!

My nose is still giving me trouble, it really bothers me. There are times when it's more sore than others, but it's uncomfortable all the time. I've also got some pressure in my cheeks and nose, but I have a feeling that's sinus issues from all the rotten weather we're having in the area! Allergies are running rampant. Unfortunately, I think I'm on the list!

That's it! Nothing terrible....I'm moving along and doing well. I'll be glad when it's over, but for the time being, I'm trying to be as patient as I can be! All the well wishes from people definitely helps! A BIG thank you to everyone!!!!!!!

Day 91 - The Nose Knows...

2010-08-08T00:13:00.003-04:00

Wow...I'm just minutes past the 3 month mark, how crazy is that? What a rollercoaster ride this has been!

So let's see, what can I tell you? All in all, I'm feeling pretty good. I still have a LOT of swelling in my face and it seems to be taking forever to improve even a little bit. For those on the outside looking at me, they don't seem to notice much. However, if you get in for a closer view, it's quite apparent that it's there. I am also still quite numb in much of the left side of my face and my chin. My gums are also numb. Eating is so-so. Although I'll try almost anything, I still have trouble. Range of motion is coming along, albeit slowly and it's a chore to eat. I do it and I don't complain, but inside, I'm throwing my plate against the wall. lol

I don't have any pain now, with the exception of my nose. (and my cheeks rubbing on my brackets). My surgeon says it isn't serious so I'm waiting a bit longer in the healing process to see how things go. I still find it strange that I have a "shelf" in the cartilage inside my nose that wasn't there before surgery, but maybe it'll go away after a while. I still have a good bit of pressure inside my nose when I sneeze, if I have to blow it (which I do lightly!) or even just bending over and having the blood rush to my head.

I went to the orthodontist last week and the braces are coming off in December!!! Wooo hooo, what a wonderful Christmas/Birthday present that will be! Things are progressing nicely since the surgery and my teeth are really moving into place like they should be. Dr. Gerlein is pretty confident that we'll be able to stay on our target of the end of the year. I am SO excited! Once they come off, I have to meet with the surgeon again. I think it's just because he wants to see what I look like without my braces after all this time, but he keeps saying it's for medical reasons. Whatever. LOL

Recap: Nose hurts, face numb, chewing stinks, BRACES COMING OFF IN DECEMBER! hehehehe

Could be worse, couldn't it. :-)

Are We Done Yet?

2010-07-25T21:50:00.003-04:00

Wouldn't it be great if we could just snap our fingers and have things our way?

I'm having a bit of pain the last week or so. :-( I'm sure much of it is just the healing process. The right side of my jaw is a bit more painful, as is the left side of my face in the upper part of my cheek bone. But the pain that concerns me is in my nose. Touching my nose is getting nearly impossible and the underside, at the top of my upper lip, is incredibly painful. I have a strange little "shelf" inside the right nostril and the cartilage is "mushy", for lack of a better word. Not sure what's going on but I'm going to contact the surgeon and see if he thinks it's normal or if I need to see him about it.

Other than that, things are moving along. I'm still eating everything I can. It takes me a long time to eat and it's still very difficult, but I'm doing it and trying hard to get back to normal. Soft foods are still my favorite but I know I can't just have those and expect to move forward. Talking is interesting. Because I have very limited feeling in my lips, left side and chin, I have to think about the words so my lips form them. It's a chore. I'm tired. Really. Nothing comes easy with jaw surgery! No pain, no gain, right?

Day 66 - The Nose Knows..

2010-07-14T00:23:00.004-04:00

My face hurts. More specifically, my nose hurts! It's hard to touch it, I'm still not breathing quite right and it's just uncomfortable. The area on my cheeks where they did the bone grafts are very tender today for some reason. Maybe it's the weather getting to my sinuses or something, but today is just not a good day. My nose hasn't been quite right up to this point...breathing isn't bad, but it doesn't feel "normal". I suppose in another 4 or 5 months, maybe it will...I'm getting tired of waiting. Really, I am SO tired of waiting.

Day 60 - Shame On Me

2010-07-08T11:07:00.006-04:00

Well...30 lashes with a wet noodle for me. I have been absolutely terrible about updating in the last couple of weeks. I assure you, I've thought about it time and time again, but life has been getting in the way and I just haven't taken the time. With that said, I'm thinking about it now so here I am!

We spent the 4th of July in Baltimore this year for a long weekend at the Inner Harbor and visiting my cousin, Lindsay and her husband, Mark at their house to watch the fireworks from their rooftop patio! What a beautiful sight that was - we had a wonderful time!

I'm back to work now so that keeps me busy, along with planning our family get together coming up in August. Brian and I, along with my parents, brothers and sisters (and kids) will spend a week at a cabin in Deep Creek, Maryland. Can't wait! The girls will be coming back to the DC area mid-week for my sister's baby shower and the guys will stay at the cabin and do some fishing and male bonding - or "talkin' smart" as they call it. Have fun, guys!

On June 29th, I had a visit with Dr. Posnick. This was a checkup to make sure things are going well and that I'm on track with my recovery. I got the thumbs up and he said that my range of motion is better than he would have expected so I felt pretty good about this. I'm eating anything and everything I can - easy or not. It's still extremely frustrating and very difficult. I'm able to just about bite into a burger (if I give it a good squish first) but once it's in there, then what do I do with it?? I still don't have a good "chewing" motion, if that makes sense, so once the food is in my mouth, I have a hard time moving it around and getting it to where it needs to be. I still can't feel the inside of my mouth either, so part of the problem is knowing WHERE the food is! Most of you probably don't understand that and it's hard to explain...so just know that when I eat and cover my mouth with my hand, it's so that you don't have to see what's in my mouth and so I don't drool or drop it out on the table in front of me.

This whole recovery thing is getting old. I don't hurt much. Eating takes a long time and my muscles are sore and tight before I'm full but there's really no pain other than when I yawn. It's just not comfortable. My mouth wants to open much further than it's able so there is a muscle fight when it happens. I get stuck in the middle and believe me, it doesn't feel good!

Not much has changed in my appearance. I'm still very swollen and numb. Most of you don't really "see" it...but believe me, it's there! I can feel my chin a bit more now and I can touch my lips without it feeling like someone is jabbing daggers into them, but other than that, things are pretty much the same. I have to make a conscious effort when I talk because if I don't, my mouth won't form the words correctly and I'll either spit or drool on myself (and others if you get too close!!). I still get the squiggles in my face, they drive me crazy! I also have the phantom drooling sensations (Graham, you know what I'm talking about here!!) that drive me nuts! When I take a drink of water, I would swear that the entire glass is going down my front. But when I go to wipe my chin, there's nothing there. Hmmmmm. Brushing my teeth is brutal! Most of my gums are completely numb...not even a little bit of sensation. However, a couple of my teeth are beginning to get sensation (this doesn't even make SENSE to me) so when I brush, the feeling just drives me up a wall! I've found that I can't even use the Sonicare anymore, I have to use a regular brush so I can control where and how I brush. Am I complaining? I suppose so, in my own way. But I try hard not to all the time because things really have improved. I think what gets frustrating is that people see that I'm eating or talking, and I look better than I did at the beginning so they think that I'm back to normal. I'm so far from it. :-( Never, ever assume.

Day 41 - Do I Look Crabby??

2010-06-22T11:58:00.005-04:00

Brian and I had a fantastic weekend! We decided to put off all the home chores we had on the schedule and do something fun for ourselves instead! Saturday, we hopped in the car about noon and headed towards the Northern Neck of Virginia for Colonial Beach. What a find that was! Colonial Beach boasts the second longest beach in Virginia and it's a great little town! We walked the beach for a little while, picked up a few shells, then had a couple of beers at one of the local beach hangouts. It's only about an hour and a half away from us - we had no idea it was so close. We've always thought that the nearest large beach is Rehoboth or the VA Beach/Newport News area - 3 or 4 hours away! We didn't know we had this wonderful little find almost right around the corner! Granted, it's not on the ocean - it's the Potomac - but there's sand, water and sun. That qualifies as a beach to me! Sunday, we hopped back in the car in the morning and this time, headed in another direction that led us to the Eastern Shore - St. Michaels and Tilghman Island in Maryland. For those of you that know where Brenna and Jeremy live - from Chesapeake Beach, looking straight across the bay, you can see Tilghman Island. Of course, the only way to get there is to take the Bay Bridge so it took us close to a couple of hours. But once we arrived, we weren't disappointed! First stop? St. Michaels and The Crab Claw for lunch. I bet you can guess what I had!!!! Brian had a crab cake sandwich - lunch was a success! After lunch, we did a little window shopping, then hopped back in the car for a drive to Tilghman Island. Not much to see there other than water LOL. It was a ghost town!!! It has one very long street through town with nothing but houses. I think there was a small restaurant and a gas station, but other than that, you're out of luck! They do have a harbor there, however, where they offer skipjack tours. We had intended to do that, but by the time we got there, it was already in the high 90's and with the humidity, nearly unbearable to be outside. So, we opted to do it another time and begin our leisurely drive home instead. It was a fantastic and much needed weekend for both of us.

Not too much to report on my jaws, the changes have slowed dramatically and not much is happening. Unfortunately, the swelling isn't going down very much or as quickly as I'd hoped but each day is getting easier. I still have some pain on the right side when I chew and yawn, but it has gotten considerably better. I'm measuring my range of motion by the number of fingers I can put between my teeth. Two weeks ago, I could only fit one...and now two! So, even though it doesn't seem like much is happening, I AM making progress. I'm eating anything and everything I can get my hands on - steak, chicken, pizza, seafood - but still get either too tired or too sore before I'm full. Because of this, I am eating numerous times a day - this is good and bad. Good for obvious reasons: Nourishment and energy. Bad: Weight. I am back to where I was when I went in for surgery so I'm doing fine but if I continue to eat as I am, I'll soon need my own zip code. :-)

I'll return to see the surgeon on June 30th to make sure he's happy with the progress I've made thus far. I'm pretty confident he'll be pleased with what I'm doing. I am also officially able to exercise and go back to most of my normal routine! Obviously I couldn't go out and run a marathon, but I can carry a loaded laundry basket, that's for damn sure! hehehe Little by little, day by day...that's all I can do and so far, things are coming along nicely.

Day 37 - I'm Lovin' It

2010-06-17T22:54:00.007-04:00

I know, I know - I'm a little behind in my writings! But now, the changes are happening much slower so it's really not necessary to do daily postings. Every two to three days will suffice and hopefully, there will be improvement each time! Of course, if a thought pops into my head, something drastic or exciting happens or I have updates from doc appts., I'll be sure to post them, as well.

I'm chewing more and more as the days go on. It's not easy, it hurts and it's still very foreign, but I'm doing it. Each meal is a chore - it's amazing how hard I have to work. Most times, I can't finish the meal because I'm literally too tired from chewing, whether I'm full or not. Each meal that I chew means progress. I do, however, have a serious addiction to mashed potatoes and could eat them every day! We found these great single serving Bob Evans mashed potatoes shortly after surgery and they were great for quick cooking and straining. We're still buying them because they are a welcome break every once in a while - though I now eat them with a small spoon instead. :-) The small victories are the best ones!

Chewing brings cravings. The more I begin to eat normally, the more things I WANT to eat. Tonight's craving was something greasy, something bad for me and something we did NOT have to make at home. I told Brian of my desires and he said he could go for the same thing. From the picture, I'm sure you can see where our dinner came from! One of the drawbacks to these cravings is the fact that I can't open my mouth very far. It's getting better, but verrrrrry slowly...and definitely not daily! But tonight, I proved to myself that I can do it, that I can beat this. Not only did I eat all 10 of my chicken nuggets (which were fantastic, by the way), but I also ordered a simple cheeseburger - and ate it like a real person! It took forever and was cold by the time I was done, but I did it and that's all that matters!

So let's see...I've been back to work nearly a full week now! It's been good to be back in the swing of things. It's harder than I expected but I'm enjoying it. Talking is very difficult and with the swelling, my cheeks are digging into my braces. Shredded cheeks = not fun. The elastics that I'm wearing, coupled with the numbness & swelling, makes a 10 minute conversation seem like a Senate hearing. I just keep telling myself that it'll get better, it'll get easier.

Instant gratification is NOT the name of this insane game!

Day 34 - Chew on this!

2010-06-14T14:53:00.005-04:00

Just because I haven't posted in a few days doesn't mean that things aren't happening around here! We had a very nice (and busy) weekend and today, I went back to work. It was a busy morning and it was tough. Although it's been nice having the splint off, I'm realizing just how far I have to go before things are back to normal. My cheeks are still very swollen and because of this, rub against my braces so they are extremely irritated and sore. The less I talk, the better it is. With the phone ringing and people coming in my office this morning, I was forced to talk a lot and wow, do I hurt. It's not as easy as it seems! I was so happy to come home where I didn't have to talk to anyone!!! But, no pain, no gain - at least that's what I was always told - just gotta keep trudging along. :-)

Now for the fun stuff - Iron Man, Transformers - they've got nothing on us jaw surgery patients! Here are the before and after xrays to date. The "before" shots were taken in September & October 2009 and I just had the "after" shots taken last Thursday. I've got a good amount of titanium in my face now, huh? And check out the difference in the profile shot! I had them side by side on my screen and was astonished! Crazy!

I guess there are a few changes to report. I seem to be getting a small amount of feeling back on the left side of my face. I've got nearly all the feeling back now in my nose and I'm getting better sensation on the left side of my face so I'm hoping this means things are moving in the right direction. My lips are still "on fire" and they hurt. My chin is also sensitive this way. But, little by little, things are changing. Pictures don't show it much, but there is still a large amount of swelling in my face that will take months to go down. But, my breathing is much, much better and as the swelling goes down on the left side, it improves. I'm beginning to think I just might breathe like a normal person after all!

Lastly....I'm proud to say that as of last Thursday, I've not used a syringe for dinner! Brian and I went out on Saturday evening and I ate in public for the first time with my new mouth! Now get this - it's the craziest thing and I still can't figure it out. I know where my mouth is. I've been eating with a fork since I was young. But I can't for the life of me get the fork between my teeth on the first try. Really. I'm not joking. It's like the "are you drunk" tests the officer gives people on the highway - you know the one - "close your eyes and touch your nose". I couldn't hit my mouth if someone PAID me! It's insane and embarrassing! And chewing - ha, that's a joke! I can only explain it by saying that it feels absolutely, 100% wrong! It's not what I'm used to - my teeth are in a completely different place and it doesn't work! It will, but right now, it doesn't but I'm trying! I look ridiculous but I WILL eat! hehe

And with that...it's dinner time. Pizza's on the menu tonight! Wish me luck!

Day 31 Continued - Life Begins Again

2010-06-11T09:39:00.003-04:00

To celebrate my new found freedom, I all but begged Brian to take me out for dinner! I didn't care what I could eat (if anything!) but I wanted to try!! Boy, did I! Chez Andree, here we come!

It wasn't easy, and everything about it feels SO wrong! I can't open my mouth more than about an inch, so little pieces is the name of the game for now. But for the first time in a month, I was able to chew food! Because my gums are still numb (which means I also can't feel my teeth), I couldn't feel where the food was, I just knew it was there. It's the strangest feeling ever! It didn't hurt, but because the muscles are now learning how to do this again, it was uncomfortable, for instance, to move my tongue from one side to the other - something we just take for granted when we eat. Brian made a good point last night - I need to be careful with food temperature so I don't burn myself - something I hadn't even thought of! But since my lips still don't work right, blowing on my food proved to be humorous. :-) And the butter dripping down my chin that Brian had to quietly tell me to wipe off? I knew it was there - uh-huh - really, I did! Riiiiiiiight! We just had to document the first bite!!!

What a fantastic night! Another new journey begins...

Day 31 - Freedom

2010-06-11T08:57:00.012-04:00

As I might have mentioned before (hehe), I went to see the surgeon on Thursday to have my splint removed. HEAVEN!!!!!!!!! The removal was painless, just a few snips of wire and it was out. I also had some stitches that hadn't worked their way out so those were removed, as well. Everything inside my mouth looks good and I'm healing nicely. Oh, the freedom to open my mouth was amazing! Different from the other times because now, I didn't have this large piece of heavy plastic to get in the way of anything!!!

Finally.....a smile without the plastic!

And THIS is the man that took me apart and put me back together again. Meet Dr. Posnick!

I'll go back to visit Dr. Posnick in three weeks where he'll check my bite and make sure I'm progressing well. I still have a lot of swelling in my face, (much more than pictures show) and he told me it will probably be a full 6 months before everything is where it should be. My smile looks funny, but this will all work itself out, it just takes time. The best news of the day - I was given the okay to get my life back - begin chewing and eating again! Soft foods to start.....I'm okay with that! It will take some getting used to as my jaws are in completely different positions than they have been for the last 39 years and there may be a little pain with chewing, but that's all to be expected. I'm okay with that, too! Ahhhh, but first things first. Since they had to cut the wires of my braces during surgery (to attach the splint), the next stop was to see Dr. Gerlein to have the old wires and surgical hooks removed and new wires and powerchains put in place. And what fun THAT was! It was Hawaiian Day at Gerlein Orthodontics!!! Here is the awesome man who now has the job of giving me a smile to be proud of - Dr. Gerlein!

I finally feel like we're making progress and that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I've got some of Aimee back...I've missed me!

Thursday evening agenda ---------- dinner at Chez Andree!!

...To Be Continued...

Day 30 - Feels Like Christmas Eve

2010-06-09T22:59:00.002-04:00

Remember the feeling? You're 6 years old, it's Christmas Eve and it's almost time for Santa to come! Your mom says "...but Santa won't come down the chimney until you're fast asleep." Ugh...so even though it's early, you just have to go to bed and close your eyes...you can't stand the anticipation and if you fall asleep, it'll quickly be tomorrow! But oh oh, if you aren't sleeping, Santa and his sleigh are just going to whooooosh right past your house to little Billy's down the street! And... you can't sleep because you're way too excited! What a predicament!

Fast forward...I'm 39 years old and this is how I feel - right here, right now. No, I'm not going insane and think that Santa is coming down my chimney this evening. I didn't even have a Billy that lived down the street. This is not child's play. My splint comes off tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I am so excited that I can't go to sleep. But I want to sleep because then tomorrow will be here quicker. But I just can't!!!! What a predicament!

Day 29 - My My, How Time Flies

2010-06-08T15:52:00.005-04:00

It's been almost a month since my surgery. Time sure flies when you're having fun! Riiiight! LOL It has been a very long 29 days, but I'm slowly beginning to see and feel the improvements. I've now almost regained all the feeling in my nose. This is helpful because my nose has been itching like crazy, but I can't make it go away! I could scratch until there's no skin left and that itch would still be there! Ugh - so frustrating! Unfortunately, the feeling in the left side of my face and my mouth are both taking longer to return. However, I think I feel a little difference in my upper lip so let's hope those nerves are working quickly and it means things are going to begin improving even more!

Only 2 1/2 more days until the splint is removed. I've had a down week but having this within my reach, I'm trying to remain a bit more positive. I know it will make a big difference in how I feel. I'm looking forward to being able to talk again so that I can take back that bit of me that's been lost. I know I won't be having a steak anytime soon, but I'll graduate to some soft foods and slowly work my way up. Eating (or lack thereof) has not been a big deal for me. In fact, it's been much easier than I anticipated. Maybe it's because I've been eating so well. Maybe it's because before the surgery, I had prepared myself well and had talked myself into the fact that it would be impossible for me to eat anything but soup. Either way, food really hasn't been an issue.

Looking back, a month has gone by quickly. Three weeks ago, I would have preferred being strung up by my toenails than having to go through what I did. Okay, so I'm kidding about this....kind of. I did a good amount of research in the year I had to prepare. I read blogs, I watched videos and checked out nearly every website I could find. I figured that if I read enough, I'd know it all and would know exactly what to expect. I don't think it's possible to be 100% prepared for this because each and every person is different in their recovery. Many will tell you there's no pain. I'm here to tell you they're full of s*&t. I had pain - a good amount of it, too! With that said...the pain I had is no longer there and I can barely remember it. So, I'm going to chalk this up to the "giving birth" philosophy - y'all know what I'm talking about, so 'nuff said. I'm still not sure what to make of my "look". It's not nearly as drastic as some, yet there's a definite difference. What I see in the mirror is different from what everyone else sees. I wasn't well enough prepared for this. I can't explain it and you probably can't understand it. And because for the next few months, my face will continue to change, it's hard to look at myself and like what I see. So, tell me all you want that I look nice and I thank you. But please don't be upset or offended if I don't get as excited as you are about the progression. It'll take time.

Happy note - Brian got a new toy, and a well-deserved one at that!! It's a side by side charcoal/gas grill with an attached smoker on one side and a burner on the other. I think he's still drooling!!! This thing is massive and looks absolutely wonderful on the back patio! It's been seasoned and is now ready for its maiden voyage - burgers, anyone?

Day 27 - Moving Right Along

2010-06-06T10:54:00.009-04:00

Feeling a little better today, my throat doesn't seem to be quite as sore as it has been the last couple of days. Let's hope that it's making a beeline out of my system! Still swollen, mostly on the left side. Pics don't show it as much, but I've still got a good bit under my left eye and along the side of my nose. It seems to be tingling a lot in the last couple of days. I'm taking that as a positive sign that the nerves in that area are beginning to fire and the feeling is slowly going to begin coming back! The Squiggles are still there and the shooting pains are also there from time to time. They're very uncomfortable but fortunately, only last for a second or two. All in all, things seem to be progressing nicely. Not much to see in terms of difference, but here are a couple of updated pics:

Brian took the Shrimp Challenge....and won!!!!! Another successful blended dish last night...shrimp fettuccini alfredo. I don't know how he does it, but he manages to make everything taste fantastic! And along with these great tasting dinners comes the weight....I'm happy to say that I'm putting on what I lost in the first couple of weeks. I'm not back to where I was before surgery, but pretty close. I'm happy with this.

Provided things continue to progress well, I'm looking at going back to work half time on the 14th. Just need to continue to work on my energy level - it seems to be working against me! But, once the splint is off, I'll at least be able to answer the phone and talk with tenants - a plus. I miss working, though, and am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. A HUGE thank you to Paul for being patient and to Cheryl for being there for me. :-)

I'd love nothing more than to have a Root Beer Freeze for dinner, but really, that's just not right. There's absolutely NO nutritional value (unless "tasting yummy" is a new food group) and I know if I have one, I'll be hungry about 30 minutes later. So.....what to have? Chicken pot pie? Haven't tried that yet. Coconut chicken? Haven't tried that either! But I've got both of them in the freezer just waiting to be had! :-) I know, I know....the anticipation is just killing you, right? Yes, this IS one of the excitements of my day. *sigh*

I've been thinking lately of the things I've really miss now that it's been a month (yikes, it's really almost been that long!!). To name a few: I miss being able to call and make/cancel my own appointments. I miss talking with my parents (both sets). I miss chewing and enjoying the texture of foods. I miss licking food off my fingers (seriously...I can't stick my tongue out right now, remember??). I miss brushing & flossing my teeth. I miss blowing my nose.

I will never take the small things in life for granted - ever again!

Day 25 - Look Ma, No Bands!

2010-06-04T15:35:00.002-04:00

Three times a day for one hour at a time, my own little piece of heaven. That's exactly what it's like when I get to take the elastics off for those periods of time. Ahhhhh, something so simple, yet it means so much. But ouch - when I lose control of them, they sure can snap! They're very easy to take off, not so much to put back on but I'm doing my best! It's such a wonderful feeling when they're off, much less confining. It somehow makes me realize that there IS a light at the end of this dirty, drafty tunnel.

I'm not feeling great today. I've got a bit of a sore throat. I'm not sure if it's just some drainage from the surgery or if I've got a bit of a cold. Either way, I'm having kind of a blah day. It's probably nothing a nice glass of wine on the patio can't cure. :-)

I can't forget to tell you about dinner last night! Brian said he was going to make chicken, I asked what KIND. He said it would have an oriental flair...that it was a "Chicken Surprise". This didn't scare me in the least - I can always count on whatever he makes to be good. And oh boy, was it ever!!! Talk about fancy and colorful! A peanutty, oriental chicken with vegetables, rice and beets...check this out!!

The countdown is on. Next Thursday, the splint comes off. Do you realize that, including today, it's only 7 days away?? Not that I'm really counting or paying attention...

Quick update - right side, no numbness. Left side, partial numbness. Nose - totally numb and itchy - frustrating. Chin - partial numbness, think I'm getting some feeling back. Feels very strange and from time to time, painful in a weird sort of way. Lips...still burning and painful. For me, the latter is the hardest because I really like to kiss my husband and it doesn't feel good right now. :-( Can't wait till the feeling comes back.

I'm craving seafood - haven't had any since surgery, but I'm also not sure just how it would taste blended. I know the thought of it is NOT appealing. Ooooh, a challenge!

Day 23 - All Banded Up & Nowhere To Go!

2010-06-02T22:59:00.000-04:00

Naps - I've never been one to take them. I've changed my mind. I want to take one. I think I like them. "Nuff said.

Last night's dinner was pizza. Tonight, burgers and mashed potatoes.....yum!!!

Had my 3rd appointment with the surgeon today. First things first...I have the most awesome doctors! Today was a good day...we had some good laughs and each day I make Dr. Posnick smile is a good day! Things look good - the incisions are healing nicely and the swelling is slowly going down. I love it when they take the bands off, it feels SO good to open my mouth! And speaking of bands...good news. I now get to take the bands off 3 times a day for an hour at a time! Heaven! Tonight was my first try at it, but only because I didn't have a choice. I was brushing my teeth and one of the back bands came off. Getting it back on proved to be easier than expected..except it doesn't seem to want to stay put! Grrrrr. Just what I need to do...swallow rubber bands in my sleep! lol Anyway, back to the doc - I also brush my teeth when I'm there. Unfortunately, I still can't quite maneuver the toothbrush well enough to get the insides of my teeth because my mouth doesn't open far enough. I bet I'm growing some nice, wool sweaters in there! hehe I have one last bit of good news and this one tops all today. Instead of a week from Monday (the 14th), I will be getting my splint off next Thursday (10th), then a quick trip to the orthodontist to have brand new wires (sans hooks, thank goodness!) put on!! That deserves a big YEEEE-HAWWWWW! :-) Don't get too excited for me though, this doesn't mean that everything goes right back to normal! Far from it. The splint will be off, but I'll still have to eat soft foods and it'll be a while before my jaw will work as it normally should. For now, though, I don't want to focus on that....I want to go back to the YEEEE-HAWWWWW instead!

One of the staples of my diet is Ensure. These wonderful little things are lifesavers! These are my "in-betweens"...I drink them whenever I'm feeling hungry for a snack and they work wonders! I try my best to have regular meals now - usually it's Malt-O-Meal for breakfast, the previous night's dinner as a lunch leftover and then whatever is on the menu for that evening's dinner. But in between, Ensure does the trick and surprisingly enough, even after three weeks, I'm not tired of them! I was shocked to see the variety...Coffee Latte, Chocolate Malt, Vanilla, Banana Cream, Strawberry...gives me some good choices! With that said...when this is all done, I never want to see an adult nutritional drink again! :-)

Brian had a steak tonight - it hurt my feelings. Okay, maybe not...but it hurt my stomach's feelings! He was growled at! *sigh*....that's my daily craving and I can't wait till I can again chomp into a side of beef!

Day 22 - Snap!

2010-06-01T23:29:00.000-04:00

It's a good thing I see the surgeon tomorrow to have my bands replaced because tonight, I'm missing some! I won't go into detail, but I snapped my bands on the right side tonight! Oops! It's not a big deal but I must say that even though they should be there, it sure does relieve a lot of pressure NOT having them there! Sure wish I didn't HAVE to get new ones tomorrow!

I'm still very tired each day - this has really been kicking my butt. I just don't have my normal energy level back yet! I want to do something around here, but when I do, it's like I take two steps backwards. Sheesh, I can't wait to feel normal again!

The squiggles are still there, the numbness, tingling and pins and needles are still there, just relocating...lol....and that's about it!

I'm going to bed.

Day 21 - Anyone Wanna Go Camping?

2010-05-31T19:39:00.000-04:00

I ask that because last night, Brian and I did just that! Well, sort of. I think I've said this before, but let me say it again. My husband is a genius! Blended food...so far, we've had nothing but good luck, but it's safe to say it's a pain in the you-know-what to make it. It's not simple and takes a good bit of time to get to the finished product. Brian had a fantastic thought - let's run to REI and see what kind of camping food they have! Uh huh - REALLY! For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about - it's ready-made food, just add water and there you have it! We picked up two packages...lasagna and enchiladas and last night's choice was lasagna. The verdict? It works! Yes! It's tasty! The only thing missing was the tent! :-)

We got out of the house yesterday for a few hours and attended the Memorial Day Concert in DC. The concert was very good and we had a nice time. Lots of celebrities - Emcee's were Gary Sinise (CSI:NY) and Joe Mantegna (Criminal Minds). Lionel Richie, Brad Paisley, Dennis Haysbert (State Farm commercials and Pres. Palmer on 24), Joint Chiefs of Staff, National Symphony and so many more. It was hot and because of heightened security, we had to stand in line for a long time before getting in while they checked each person. We found shade at the concert, but then had some bad commuting luck heading home afterwards and what should have taken us 30 minutes took 2 hours. Needless to say, we were exhausted by the time we got home. I'm a bit swollen and achy today and super tired. Maybe a little too much too soon, but we had a good time while we were there and I'm glad we went. And to my doc, if you're reading this - I've already scolded myself so you're covered. :-)

Today has been a laid back day for me. We did run to a local nursery for some shrubs for the front yard. Brian spent the latter part of the afternoon planting them and they look great! Thanks, honey!

I feel my attitude going downhill just a little bit in the last couple of days. I'm trying to stay upbeat, but things are getting frustrating. I still have no feeling on the left side of my face and also my lips. I'm not able to drink out of a glass very well and my syringes are all finally junk. :-( It's not a good feeling when you're hungry and can't expel anything from the syringe. You'd think it would be easy to get more of them, right? Not so. We have checked with the pharmacy, they have none. We checked with a medical supply company and even though the ones they had weren't the same ones I'm using, we couldn't buy them anyway because we need a prescription from the doc to buy them. My lips are numb and the inside of my mouth is so extremely sensitive to hot and cold that it's horrible trying to drink out of a glass. Fortunately, one of my wonderful surgery buddies is able to get them - she's picking them up and sending them my way! Audra, you're a lifesaver - thank you SO much! I can't wait for the splint to come out - time is passing slowly now and with two weeks to go, it seems like an eternity. It can't come soon enough. I know it'll get better - it HAS gotten better - I suppose it's a poor me day. I'm okay with that and don't feel bad about it, either.

Enough bitching...I'm done now. It's been a good weekend and tonight, even better. We're having burgers!

My daily craving: Exactly what we're having for dinner tonight! Really!

Day 19 - Sensations...

2010-05-29T23:31:00.001-04:00

A new day and new sensations. As I've mentioned in previous posts, the nerves in my face are going crazy. The newest sensation is one I call "the squiggles". It's difficult to explain what they are, but the best way I can describe it is to say that it feels as if little feet are running over my face - from my chin to my cheek, or my cheek to my nose, or one side of my chin to the other - it's crazy and it almost tickles. My face also itches and it's not fun. It's not fun because it only itches where it's numb and when I scratch, it doesn't do a thing to make the itch go away! Very frustrating! I've begun getting some shooting pains from time to time in my jaw and cheeks, and my teeth sometimes ache. I suspect it's normal, just the healing process, but it can be agonizing nonetheless.

A yummy dinner tonight of southwest (chipotle) chicken and rice. I'm telling you, I'm beginning to enjoy dining at Chez Darling! We capped it off with a Rootbeer Freeze for dessert while watching the movie 2012. Not bad!

But, I'm still craving a big, fat ribeye! (couldn't resist)

I'll leave you this evening with some updated photos - slowly but surely, things are progressing! Nighty night, all!

Day 18 - Baby Steps

2010-05-29T09:52:00.001-04:00

I'm a day late in posting this so I'll do it this morning and post today's excitement this evening so I'm back on track.

I've got cabin fever. Bad! It's a catch 22 though....I want to get out, but I'm just too tired to do so. I conquered that yesterday and Brian helped it along. We've done virtually nothing since my surgery and thankfully, we've dealt with it pretty well and haven't killed one another - yet! lol So, to get ahead of the game, I made a request yesterday of my dear husband, and he relented! We went to one of our local hangouts, Bistro Bistro, for Happy Hour!!!! I know what you're thinking...and no, I didn't bring my syringe with me! LOL I drank like a big girl this time! In the hour and a half or so that we were there, I managed to drink only about half my margarita but it tasted ohhhhhhh, so good and was well worth it! And it was wonderful to get out of the house and do something different.

Dinner. I've been mentioning the foods I've been eating and just how tasty those foods have been. I've also shown you the end result. But what you haven't heard (or seen) is the work that goes into making one of my "looks to be so simple" meals. The food prep time is all different, depending on what's being made. But once the food is done, it has to go into the food processor. Once there, it has to be thinned while blending. We're not done yet. Once it's the correct consistency, it has to be strained as I can't have any chunks of food in what I eat. Ahhh, but when it's strained, it's now cold so the warm up begins! All in all, it's quite a process and when all is said and done - a HUGE mess! Last night's meal was a wonderful veal dish, with mashed potatoes. Super, super tasty, my husband is a genius! :-) Here are the before (that is my meal on the left side, in the bowl!) and after shots so you can see it's not quite as simple as you might think!

With the time it took for dinner, we didn't get any update shots on me so we'll do that for the next post. As for me, the progression is still very slow. I'm sure that there are some small changes happening, but nothing big enough where I can really tell the difference. I will tell you that my breathing is MUCH better and although I'm still kind of stuffy on the left side, the right is almost completely clear! It's going to be heavenly when this splint comes out!

And On The 17th Day...

2010-05-27T23:07:00.000-04:00

...not a damn thing changed! LOL It's going to be a short one tonight because I'm tired and really don't have anything new to report. This isn't a bad thing, things have just slowed down for a bit. The positive thing is that I'm not getting worse...it can only get better from here! :-)

Dinner tonight was another winner - my husband never ceases to amaze me! Rice, veggies and pesto - it was mmmmmmm mmmmmmm good! :-) One big bowl of green! hehehe Eating from a syringe is beginning to get on my nerves, though. As I watched Brian eat a steak tonight, I realized just how much I miss just grabbing something and taking a big bite out of it! Surprisingly, although I get a taste for things now and then, I'm not really struggling with food jealousy (i.e. Brian's steak). This has got to be because of the wonderful meals he has been preparing for me - I'm getting all the taste sensations so the only thing lacking is eating with regular adult utensils! No complaints!!

So with that, I'll close for the evening. Nothing exciting, no earth shattering news. I'm completely fine with that.

Day 16, But Who's Counting??

2010-05-26T21:51:00.000-04:00

Me!

Good news is...my smile is there! Bad news is...I can't FEEL it! lol

The good night's sleep thing was short lived as I didn't get ANY last night. I finally moved down to the couch at about 4 a.m., was up for another couple of hours, then finally fell asleep around 6:30 and was able to sleep until 7:45, just in time to say goodbye to my husband as he ran out the door. :-) *sigh* It will get better though, I know it!

Dinner tonight was another yummy one....Brian made chili for me! This whole blended diet thing is going pretty well! Of course, when I'm left on my own, the toughest part of making it is opening the bottle of Ensure - those caps are really tight!!!!!! :-) Looking for some help from all my "followers". What do YOU think would taste good blended? Give us your thoughts. You pick, we'll try, and then let you know how it tasted!

My weight is holding pretty steady and for that, I'm glad. I wish I could exercise a bit more, but for now, I have to settle for short and easy walks up and down the sidewalk each day. It's better than nothing.

I recently found a blog online, someone else chronicling their jaw surgery. The owner of the blog, Graham, was two months into his recovery on the day I returned home from the hospital. I was searching for any and all help, something or someone to give me the strength to keep on keepin' on. I posted a comment and Graham replied almost right away and instantly made me feel better. Shortly after that, a reply from others on their own roads to recovery....and now, two weeks later, I've found new friends. For this, I'm SO grateful. Graham, Audra, Tara, Suzie.....thank you!

Day 15 - Seeing Red

2010-05-25T22:46:00.002-04:00

..and I don't mean because I'm angry! Look at this and take a guess what I had for dinner! (answer at the end of the post)

Today was a strange day. Not bad, just strange. Last night was the best night's sleep I've had since the first day as I slept nearly 5 hours, a good thing - so you'd think I'd be well rested today. I guess it wasn't enough. I was up for a couple of hours this morning and then, all of a sudden, sitting straight up on the couch, I fell asleep. It was on and off like that for the better part of the day - just a little weird. I never did quite get into a rhythm.

I've got a funny for you though! I'm not sure what changed - if the splint shifted (which I don't think is possible) or if maybe swelling is affecting it, but I now squeak. I can't explain how it happened or why, but it's just plain funny! What can I say - check out this link and you'll get a laugh?? Squeaky!!

My swelling went down quite a bit at the beginning but now it's slowed. Still swollen, especially on the left side. I have most of the feeling on the right side of my face but my left is still almost all numb. My lips bother me a lot, it's a very unsettling feeling and actually hurts. It almost feels like they're on fire or like someone is slicing me with a knife. It's hard to describe unless you experience it. I'll be glad when this goes away, but it could be months. I'm not nearly as congested as when I first came home from the hospital, but it's still there. I still can't blow my nose - hoping to be able to do that soon, that'll make a HUGE difference and will feel SO good!

Did you guess what I had for dinner? PIZZA!!! Hahahaha.....yep! Really! We're 4 for 4!!! Chicken fettuccini, vegetable curry & rice, burgers & mashed potatoes and now, pizza! All good and definite do overs! Check out the process:

Can you believe that something that looks SO horrible can really taste good? It can! I am SO not starving!!!

My daily craving: Lemon butter & garlic tilapia...yummmmm

Day 14 - Lovely

2010-05-24T23:05:00.001-04:00

Day 14 brought my second surgeon visit - two weeks down, three to go! As will be the case for another three weeks, the visit today was to replace the bands that are holding my jaws together and to make sure that I'm progressing the way I should be. Good news and bad news. The good news is that I AM progressing well and everything is on track, as it should be. My gums are healing nicely, as are my jaws. The bad news? I got scolded by Neil and Dr. Posnick. :-( I've been trying SO hard to talk and in doing so, I'm stretching the bands as I do so. Well, it's putting too much pressure on my upper jaw when I do this and it's slowing down the healing process. Oops! So....even though I am ABLE to move my jaw a little bit, I CAN'T do it, per my docs. *sigh* Anyway......Ashley went along to my appt. today and took some pics. When I'm at Dr. Posnick's office, they remove the bands, check my bite, allow me to brush my teeth and open my mouth just a bit, then put the bands back on...

Prior to surgery, I showed you pictures of the splint that I would have in my mouth after the surgery, the one that would keep my jaws in the correct position while banded shut. While necessary, it's a complete pain in the butt! With the splint in place, I can't use a spoon or anything to put even liquids into my mouth because it sits between my top and bottom teeth. It's also a catch all for food and drinks! Three more weeks and it's gone!

Enough about the doc - who wants to hear about that boring stuff anyway! :-) Let's talk about dinner!! First and foremost, I want everyone to know that I LOVE MY HUSBAND! If it weren't for him, I would be curled up in a ball somewhere, withering away. He's not going to let that happen, not a chance! Tonights menu at Chez Darling was vegetable curry and rice. I don't know how he made it or what he used, but it was FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! I am NOT starving and there IS life beyond Ensure and protein shakes!

There is no daily craving because I am FULL!!!!!!!!!

Yummylicious!

2010-05-24T10:41:00.000-04:00

Just a side note while I'm thinking about it. Last night, Brian made burgers. When they were done, he put mine in the food processor. Now before you go "ewwwww", don't judge! He put the seasoned burger and onions in, along with some beef broth. Then, once it was liquified, a little touch of ketchup. Strained it and there you have it! Believe it or not, it tasted just like a burger and was fantastic!!!!!! I also warmed up some microwave mashed potatoes, added some milk, butter, salt and pepper. It was a HELL of a meal and I LOVED it! Don't knock it till you try it!

Day 13 - Smile!

2010-05-23T19:29:00.000-04:00

Look at that, folks....that's a smile coming from my face! I can't feel it, but I'm doin' it! LOL I'm just so glad that I have movement in my face. It's not all there yet, but it's coming along nicely - I'm feeling pretty good about it. Today has been a decent day. My breathing has improved and can only get better from here. My chief complaint right now is the severe pain I have inside my mouth where the cuts, bruising and incisions are. Unfortunately, the nerves are coming alive and allowing me to feel the pain - not my preference but I highly doubt there's a thing I can do about it!

I visit the doc tomorrow afternoon at 1:30 pm to have the bands replaced. Because my mouth is so sore, I'm petrified to go but know that I don't have a choice. Cross your fingers that by some stroke of luck, my mouth numbs between now and then so I don't have to deal with the pain!!!

Here are a couple of pictures that give insight into my daily routine. The first picture is of the staples of my day to day existence. You'll notice Ensure, which I'm growing to like more and more. Strawberry is so far my favorite! Soup - of course! Any kind of soup is good, but again I've got a favorite - Tomato! I think part of why it's easy is because I don't have to blend it - it tastes good AND it's easy!

There are a few things that aren't in that pile on our table. Cream of Wheat is a good one, and of course smoothies and shakes that I make from scratch. Last night was heavenly! Brian made chicken fettuccini in white sauce...we blended up my portion and it was fantastic!!! Tonight, we're going to try burgers. Hmmmm, should be interesting. I've always got tomato soup as a backup!

The second picture here is my staging area. Brian set this up when I first got home from the hospital. It has gotten smaller since my number of medications has decreased and we've gotten much better at the whole routine so we're a little more organized than we were at the beginning. It's still a pain in the butt sometimes though!

The process is slower than I would like, but it's going. It can only get better from here, right? I can't hear you!!!!

Day 12 - What's New?

2010-05-22T13:10:00.000-04:00

Happy weekend everyone! My spirits are up a little bit today, I'm not feeling too bad. I still have a lot of pain in my mouth but I'm controlling it well with pain meds and Tylenol so for now, things feel kind of level for me. Today was the first time I looked in the mirror and actually felt that the swelling might be going down just a little bit. My judge? My lower lip - it just doesn't look so big this morning for some reason. Maybe it's my imagination, maybe it's real.....either way, I'll take it because I'm just plain sick and tired of looking like a member of the Potato Head family.

Hurting or not, I have to laugh at this. Portions of my face are numb, and even those that I can sort of feel are still dead in some ways. But, the nerves are firing non stop right now, trying to do their thing. So, I'll drink slowly from a glass and I'll feel water pouring down my chin, spilling onto my shirt. Only when I go to wipe it off, there's nothing there! Yet the other day, I was sitting at my computer and all of a sudden, I looked down and there, below me, is a HUGE puddle of spit! LOL I had NO idea I was drooling but it was pouring out. Jeez...Candid Camera would have a field day with me! hahahaha

To compare from the other day, here are a couple other pics from today....what do ya think?

I've gained a little weight, 1.4 lbs!!! Yippee! Yes, I'm glad I've gained....there will still be a good bit of weight loss during my recovery so I'd much rather keep it going slowly! I'm feeling good about where I am, it's my target weight for all times so maybe I'll be lucky and can stick it!

Brian and I are trying to be creative about what to do around the house since my lifestyle has changed. I still can't do much other than take slow walks outdoors. We played Battleship the other day and as is the case with all games (he is SO not fun to play with...lol), he won. He also came home the other day with a PS3 and a couple of games. He said it was for me, but I think it might be a good escape for him, too! haha Neither of us are nearly coordinated enough to play the games, but we'll get a good laugh anyway. Whatever happened to good ole Pac Man and Asteroids, huh??

I slept in my own bed last night!!!!!! Okay, well, slept might be an overstatement...I didn't sleep a lot but I was there nonetheless! It felt nice to be there, like meeting up with an old friend! :-) I think I'm no longer banished to the basement!

I think I'll take advantage of feeling decent and the nice weather before the t-storms start. Wishing everyone a great weekend! Love to my friends and family.

My daily craving: Steak!!!!!!! I can't stand it anymore...just a big, fat steak, is that too much to ask??

Jumpin' Monkey, It's Day 11!

2010-05-21T17:00:00.001-04:00

In honor of it being day 11 (gotta honor SOMETHING!), Ashley came over today to keep me company. And while she was here, we enjoyed my 2nd attempt at Jumpin' Monkeys - yummmmmmmy! Not only did she share them with me, but she took in the WHOLE experience. Do I have an awesome kid or what?? :-)

Day 10 - Ugh - I'd Like To Buy A Zero...

2010-05-20T18:17:00.002-04:00

10 days post op...whoopie!! Surprisingly, the time isn't going as slowly as you'd think, I can't believe it's been this long already. I go back to Dr. Posnick and Neil on Monday already for my 2nd week checkup. They'll take the bands off again so I can open my mouth, something I'm very much looking forward to! I'll get to brush my teeth while I'm there, as well. I do that at home, but when the bands are off, it's just a little bit easier and I'm hoping that soon, I'll be able to get the toothbrush INSIDE rather than just brushing the braces on the outside! Anyway, here's the plan for the next 5 weeks - I go back once a week to see them, they'll take the bands off, check my jaw movement and make sure everything is still on track. My 5th week appt, the one that we're looking forward to, is on June 14th at 1:30 pm. That's the day that the splint comes off and I'll officially no longer be banded! I know I've got a long way to go, but I've got my sights set already, you have NO idea how exciting the very thought is right now of not being confined! Once I get the splint off, I will immediately walk over to Dr. Gerlein's office where he will replace the upper wire on my teeth that Dr. Posnick had to cut during surgery. So, the countdown begins....25 days to go and Phase I will be done.

As for today...not much improvement in the way of pain or feeling. I've still got a ton of pressure and it's super frustrating. My face is tingly and just in the last day or so, has become terribly sensitive to hot and cold. I don't mean just my mouth, but my face. Brian and I went out and took a very short walk today to get me out of the house. Just the cool air against my face makes it hurt. Neil says that it's because the nerves are already trying to regenerate so there's no telling WHAT I might feel in my face over the course of the next few weeks. The right side isn't too bad and I've got nearly all the feeling. The left side is basically numb from just below my left eye, all the down to the middle of my chin. It doesn't look gigantic, but it feels that way - I just know it's going to explode one of these days. I hope it doesn't happen out in public, how embarassing would THAT be? :-)

Now check out this picture! Fancy, huh? This was my treat for taking a walk and not keeling over! Wine hasn't tasted particularly good to me since surgery but I'm going to keep trying until I get it right!

Mmmmmm, nice! And how beautiful is that residual bruising that's moving from my face down through my neck and chest. See the pretty green? My favorite color!!!!!

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has sent cards and flowers to the house. They're all beautiful and even with my stuffy nose, I can catch a whiff from time to time!

Birthday greetings today to my brother-in-law, Peter from Raleigh! Wishing you a day just as wonderful as you are! Love you!

Time to see what kind of broth or smoothie I can make for dinner - AGAIN! I don't have much of an appetite but know that I need to get something in my system so I'm trying. So far, my favorite is french onion soup and mixed berry smoothies. I've got to start branching out. If anyone has ideas, I'm all ears!

My Daily Craving: Pizza!!!!!!!

Day 9 - Randoms

2010-05-19T20:16:00.000-04:00

Just a few more random shots from today, Day 9 Post Op...

All In All, Not A Bad Day

2010-05-19T20:06:00.001-04:00

I'm gonna say that today was, by far, the best day. Not because there are improvements - on the contrary, my chin pains me, the incisions inside my mouth are on fire, I'm still swollen and my face feels like it could explode at any moment into tiny bits. Then why, you ask? Because today at 3 p.m., my husband came downstairs to my room (yes, I have my own room right now) and simply asked if he could take a nap with me. I don't think you have any idea how sweet it was and how good it felt. I wasn't napping. But Brian's working from home this week, and as I said in an earlier post, not only is he taking care of things on HIS end, but he's also taking care of everything for me! He said his brain was all mushy today from the work he's doing and that he needed a break. Because my sleeping pattern is so messed up (I don't sleep at night then nap on and off throughout the day), I've been sleeping in the guest bedroom in the basement. Nothing has been normal now for 9 days. And although taking naps with my husband is not a part of our normal routine, I'll take it now - in a heartbeat! An hour lying next to my husband, sound asleep - priceless.

Things I miss:

My husband
Wine (I can drink it, just don't have a taste for it now)
Slim Jims
Steak
Being able to drink a glass of liquid without spilling down my front
Driving
Talking (although I do surprisingly well!)
Feeling in my face

My Daily Craving:

Brian's Veal Scalloppini with lemon butter, white wine & capers.

Weight loss to date: 13 pounds

It's Official - I'm Hungry

2010-05-19T14:15:00.000-04:00

My stomach is gurgling and screaming FOOD!!!!!!!!!!! So, good morning, belly.....here's a little Strawberry Banana Smoothie. Mmmmmmmm, tasty! And it only took an hour and a half to drink 10 oz! Ugh. It took me so long to drink it that now I'm hungry again. It's a vicious cycle! But, let me toot my own horn just a little bit! I do still take meds from a syringe, but for water, Gatorade, smoothies...I drink from a glass! Yep! Woot Woot!

So eating - it's kind of humorous. You see, I can't feel anything from my eyes down. Wait, I take that back. I have a small amount of feeling in my right cheek. Other than that, it's all "pins and needles" or completely numb, only the sensation that it might be there. Frustrating? Incredibly. Funny? Yeah, sort of....lol. You see, I've been having a pity party for the last couple of days and today, I've decided to try to find something lighthearted in what's happening. For instance...since my breakfast smoothie tasted so good this morning, I went ALL out and made myself one for lunch! I can't remember the name of it, but years ago in Willmar, there used to be a deli downtown (then turned into a greek place, I think - next door to the Heritage Bank Building for all you Willmarites). They made a Jumpin' Monkey. Yummmmmmy! I wanted to try to replicate that taste and I must say, I did a pretty darn good job of it! Ice cream, milk, chocolate syrup, banana and coffee. It tastes great - but I've been trying to down it now for 30 minutes and I haven't even made a dent! LOL It dribbles off the right side of my lip......then I'll lean to the left to get a paper towel and it dribbles off the left side.....I need a bib! Maybe Ollie would let me borrow one!

Sneak Peek

2010-05-19T00:27:00.001-04:00

We took the Flip video cam along to the hospital but little did I know it was actually used! Yes, I know I LOOK like a willing participant, but I assure you, I have no recollection of the events happenings. Kind of fun to see anyway...

The first video was taken by Brian in the recovery room immediately following surgery. The second by Ash, shortly after I'd finally gotten a bed in ICU.

Recovery Room

ICU

Day 8 - Update

2010-05-18T14:23:00.000-04:00

Let's do the positive stuff first, shall we? :-) Went to my first doc appointment yesterday to make sure everything is healing properly. All looks good and it looks like I'm on track with no problems at all. As you know, breathing has been the biggest struggle this past week and for just 5 minutes yesterday, I felt like I was floating on a cloud and that all was right in the world!!!!! Neil (Dr. Posnick's fellow) removed the bands on each side of my mouth - this will happen once a week for 5 weeks - to check progress. Then, he had to finish something else up so he left us in the room - unbanded!! I already have some use of my jaw and to be able to move it and to breathe, unobstructed through my mouth was heavenly!!! Here I am....look at this!!

You can see some of the residual bruising on my neck that's slowly going away. There's not nearly as much bruising as I expected, so I suppose this is another positive thing (hey, I'm grabbing at straws here, throw me a bone...lol). But check that out! I was able to open my mouth!

The weight of this week finally came crashing down though, last night. I'm sure it was a combination of things - tired from my doc appt., numerous sleepless nights, in pain and not being able to breathe - but I crawled off the couch to put my face over the humidifier to get any kind of relief that was possibly out there, and I had a meltdown. I don't mean the "awww shoot, I'm feeling kind of bad for myself so I'll complain" kind of meltdown. Nope. I went all out. I did it up good. I lost it. I sat on the floor, curled up over a humidifier and sobbed for 20 minutes straight. "Nuff said.

Today isn't terrible. I still can't breathe very well and my face still feels like it will explode at any moment - the pins and needles/pressure chamber thing really isn't my deal and I don't like it. Brian says the swelling has gone down a lot in my face. I don't see it, but I suppose that because my face FEELS like it's about 20x it's normal size, I think it is. Here are some pics from the last couple of days, I'll let you be the judge.

Yes, I DO look like a freak! lol

To pass the time and add an element of fun, today will mark the first day of "Aimee's Daily Craving". This will get me thinking of ALL the wonderful things I'm missing and will be SO glad to get back...AND it will also get my butt on this blog more often so you can see the new me emerge (the doctor SAYS it's going to happen). So, check back each day and I'll tell you what food I'm thinking of and wishing I was chewing! Okay, so now that I write it out, it sounds like a lot more fun for me than for you - but hey, humor me and take a look anyway!

Aimee's Daily Craving:

Tacos!!

Weight loss to date: 12 lbs.

My Husband, My Best Friend.

2010-05-18T11:51:00.001-04:00

Day 8 - wow...we're officially into the second week of this godforsaken operation and recovery phase. We've both been terrible about updating in the last couple of days but it's been crazy around here. Brian is working two jobs - literally. He has been working from home for ACS, busting his butt getting things done for some projects that are set to be rolled out the end of this week. To top that off, he's my full time nurse and I don't think I can or will ever be able to say enough about what a fantastic job he's done. He would be better at describing it because honestly, much of the last week has been a blur for me and I don't remember many things very clearly. That's why the information on here has been spotty at best, my mind is mush. But, I'll tell you from my vantage point and he can write a rebuttal if he feels it necessary. Unfortunately, there's no liquid form of percocet, which means that each pill has to be crushed, then mixed in water, sucked into a syringe, then shot down my throat. I can't begin to tell you how horrible it tastes. Brian crushes each and every one of those pills - not only does he do it for the ones I need to take at that moment, but he'll prep them so they're there, waiting for me in the middle of the night if I need them. He stands there while I take it - so patient, because I might not get quite all of the pill so I need more liquid. The kitchen is set up like a lab - he's got it down to a science. Tylenol - he has to first put it into a cup, which he then has to suck up into a syringe and give to me. (For all you parents...you know how our kids always fought with us when we had to get them to take the little bit of children's Tylenol and thought "how bad can this be, it's cherry flavored? And really, it's only a LITTLE bit." I get it! Next time your child has a headache or needs to bring down a fever.....when you're dispensing that bit of liquid - give them love, give them praise because it may LOOK easy, but it's really not! ) I can't feel my face. When I drink, I drool and my nose has begun to run from the septoplasty - Brian will just quietly and gently grab a kleenex, wipe and go onto other things. He doesn't make an issue of it, nor do I anymore. But if I'm not looking hideous, it's all because of him. I would swear that I have magic glasses around the house because each time I go to get a drink of water or Gatorade, it's fresh. Why? Because my wonderful husband filled them again. I can't tell you now just how many trips Brian has made to either the grocery store or CVS in the last week but it's more than I can count. If I need it and we don't have it, he gets it. He's exhausted and I can see it. He's so thoughtful and so caring and I know it hurts him that I'm having such a tough time with this yet he just keeps going. But each day, when I look in his eyes, I can see the pain, I can see the exhaustion. Honey, I love you and I am so lucky to have you. And to everyone else - when you get a chance, tell my husband what an awesome job he's doing - he deserves it.

Day 7 - What's Up Doc?

2010-05-17T12:04:00.001-04:00

The sweet smell of....ME! A nice shower and we're off shortly to see Dr. Posnick for my first post-op visit at 1:30 pm. I'll be glad to go...we've got some questions and the biggest one is, "When will this pressure and pain go away???" I think if he doesn't answer that one to my liking, my next one will be, "What is your address so you can meet my hit man?" hehehehe Okay, so maybe that's going just a little TOO far....but hey, when a girl's in pain like this, she's bound to lash out somehow, right? :-)

Day 6 - Is It Sunday Already?

2010-05-16T18:57:00.000-04:00

I just realized it's Sunday - time has flown since being admitted to the hospital last Tuesday. I haven't been on here much, I know, but I hope to change that soon. I won't sugarcoat anything...it's been a really rough two days. I hurt a lot and the pressure and pain in my face is like nothing I've ever felt before. The swelling isn't going down, it's merely changing - moving from one area to the next to the next. If you ask me, I think I look like a moose. Ask my husband, he'll probably agree. (my two cents (Brian), I still say John Madden, a moose would be less scary). Hmmmmm, he snuck that in there while I was taking a nap - that's right, honey, go ahead and kick a girl when she's down! :-)

Drugs - they are a godsend. I'm on Percocet and Tylenol for pain and swelling, Dimetapp and Saline spray for congestion and Keflex to ward off any infections. Even though it seems like Brian is a total pusher and is giving these to me every 15 minutes, I don't think that's the case. I'm just so sick of medications I could cry.

And speaking of...I know that my best friend, Londa, is wondering if I've cried. Yes! Like a baby!!!!! Most of you know that I'm normally a pretty upbeat person. And in most normal situations, I am. This is no normal situation and as positive as I'm trying to be, it has its down sides. I don't care that I can't eat, that's not a concern yet, because frankly, I haven't had much of an appetite. (Weight loss is at an official 10 pounds since date of surgery). Nor do I care what I look like - I can deal with the Moose and John Madden look. I think it just hits from time to time when Brian hands me yet another plunger full of antibiotic to shove into my throat, or when I'm lying on my back and Brian grabs hold of my leg and I realize I haven't been breathing because it's just so difficult TO breathe. Some things just aren't "normal" so if you don't mind, the inner baby in me WILL come out and I fully intend to have my pity parties. Y'all are more than welcome to join!

Day 5

2010-05-15T13:21:00.000-04:00

Hi all. Just saw that Brian updated a bit last night - glad he threw in the most beautiful of all the pictures.....lol.

This won't be long, but I wanted to let everyone know how things are going. My biggest frustration right now is lack of breathing. Having had the septoplasty, it's very, very difficult to breathe right now and the pressure is almost unbearable. Aside from that, I'm trying to move around a bit today to take my mind off things. I'm extremely uncomfortable and can't seem to find a "good" spot. They've told me that this part of things will likely get better after 10-14 days...I sure hope it starts sometime soon!

I've gotten everyone's well wishes via email, text message, Facebook, etc - thank you! Right now, it's impossible for me to respond to each and every one, but please know that I'm getting them and will respond as soon as I'm able!

Part II - The Real Story

2010-05-15T00:51:00.000-04:00

Part I was the story leading up to the surgery. And even the surgery itself. Everyone's concern, love, well-wishes certainly gave Aimee additional strength to walk in the hospital doors, put her faith and future in strangers' hands and come through it. Now that she's out and home recuperating, the next part of this story begins. Actually, it's the greatest and longest part of the story, lest anyone think that whatever happens now is anti-climatic. In Aimee's situation, the triumph isn't getting through surgery, going through recovery, coming home. It's the next five to seven weeks of endurance. To illustrate, I'd like each of you reading this try the following "simple" three steps and try them each for a minute to see how you do:

1) clinch your teeth, close your lips. Talk. Without moving your jaw or your lips. The only vocal sounds you can make are with your tongue. Aimee misses her "P's" and "B's" now that she can't say them lol.

2) Next time you're at a fast food joint, grab a straw. Now put the end of the straw in your mouth. Pinch your nose with your fingers. Breathe. That's all the air that Aim can get with each breath.

3) Get a glass of water. Pinch your nose, clinch your teeth. Drink the glass of water. Seems like an easy thing to do, until you realize that you have to breathe.

And that's life for the next five weeks at least. No solid food. Liquids only. No talking in a completely intelligible sense. But that's what she signed up for. She's the strongest person I know. I couldn't do it.

A Retrospective

2010-05-15T00:13:00.000-04:00

Since I fell down on the job of keeping this up to date, I'm going to digress and post some on the more poignant pictures of the past two days. As Aimee said, time really has no meaning this week, minutes merge with hours, events of a day are blurred with those of other days. We're living in the moment of getting to the next point in time when the next dose of antibiotic is due, when the next pain med can be given, when the litany of necessary care must be attended to. Be that as it may, may I present Aimee in her finest moment !!! Here are some pics from the past two day.

"I've got a lot to say, really."

Ok, someone talk to the nutritionist. Since when do orders for "Liquid Only" mean oatmeal that could be used as mortar, chunks of Jello that even Bill Cosby would go "ewwwwwwww", or thick yogurt that wouldn't go down a drain. Christ people, her jaw is wired shut! I'll bet a dollar they feed diabetics blocks of sugar.

"I forget, is the left one my fork or is the right one the knife?" Either way, Aim doesn't need a plate. Food in a tube is the wave of the future. You lead the way, Aim!

Ahhhhhh, Breeze. Refreshing sounding beverage, isn't it? Why not just name it for what it is, "Crap in a Box".

Now she's just showing off. First patient they've had who used utensils while still in the hospital.

Day 2 told the entire story. Aim's riding a wave. From feeling ok to feeling great to feeling like a Mack truck ran over her. The downsides outnumbered the good.

Update Time - I'm home!

2010-05-14T10:13:00.000-04:00

I just noticed that aside from my quick coffee rant this morning, there has been no update since my sleepless night. No worries, I'll scold my hubby! :-) And stop talking about my hair - I KNOW I haven't had a shower in 4 days!!!

I'll just start from right now and if Brian wants to add anything, he can do so. I don't remember a whole lot from the past 3 days so I probably can't be of much help. But since I'm feeling just a little better this morning, I'll do what I can before I drift back to sleep. I'm home! My doctor released me yesterday afternoon and what a joy that was to hear! I must admit that when I first got here, I was a little nervous and almost felt like the walls were closing in. I had access to this wonderful humidifier thing on my bed that I could just clasp over my mouth and nose and it would help my stuffiness. I don't have it here and at first, I missed it! But, Brian had run to the store to pick up a little humidifier and I quickly realized I could sit in front of it and get the same benefit. The points go to Mr. Darling! Yayyyy! I've set up a makeshift room here in the living room - it's not ideal but it's comfortable and it allows me to be a little bit more independent. Brian's awesome - he's a great nurse and I'll owe him dearly for this - you'll hear me say that over and over again because he really IS the best! I must say that my first night home wasn't too bad. I woke up about every two hours, which is a MAJOR improvement over every 40 minutes at the hospital! The breathing is horrendous and very, very difficult. Almost impossible to put into words. I'd say the best way to explain it is to plug your nose and breathe through a straw in your mouth and see how simple it is. I don't know another way to put it - it's just not fun at all. I'm trying hard not to get panicky about it because a) it won't do me a bit of good and b) when I get panicky, I start to cry and then I get even MORE stuffed up. It's a lose-lose situation and we'll have none of that! haha

Just had a good bit of chicken broth - yummy! It's really the first time I've eaten because they gave me ridiculous meals in the hospital. Yes, I'm supposed to be on a liquid diet yet they send me this thick and chunky malt-o-meal! Seriously! Oh, and jello cubes and don't forget thick and creamy ice cream. It was insane. We finally had to ask for some broth so I could get something into my system besides water! Along with the chicken broth, I also had a Percoset which is apparently just now making itself known because my eyes are beginning to feel kinda funny. I think this is my cue to close for now and come back again in a while or who knows what I might say! :-)

Day 4 - Just A Cup Of Coffee

2010-05-14T09:27:00.000-04:00

Good morning! Believe it or not, I've already "graduated" in one respect. Although there are certain things that are still easier taken with the syringe, I'm drinking out of a spoon and a glass already, too! That's not to say it's pretty all the time because sometimes I miss, but I must say I'm doing okay for a first timer! This morning, I was in the mood for a cup of coffee and that's what I'm having right now and I just say, it's pretty damned good! It's slow and it's already cold...but I'm still going to appreciate every drop!

Patience...

2010-05-13T04:36:00.000-04:00

It's 4:18 am - Day 3 - unfortunately, my sleeping patterns have not improved. I won't take much of your time, but thought I would try to get my own update out there even though Brian has been doing a great job so far!

This is NOT fun. Not that I expected it to be fun, but I must say I was thinking it might be a bit easier than it's been. The easiest part was immediately following surgery. I didn't feel too bad, I could speak pretty well and the swelling didn't seem to be affecting me too badly. Yesterday and today - totaly different story. Although everything I'm feeling right now is completely normal, that doesn't mean it feels right. My throat has become increasingly sore from the tube they put through my nose and down my throat. I'm also having trouble breathing so it's frustrating. I understand that having the septoplasty is, in the long run, much simpler and cost effective to do at the same time as jaw surgery, I'm rethinking just why ANYONE would choose to do it now!!! It has made breathing ridiculously difficult! I can't complain too much about pain in my nose, though, so that's a good thing. It's a bit tender, but other than that, not too bad.

Sorry to make this short but time to go back to sleep for a short time. I'll try to get you more updates as the day progresses. Thanks for all your love and support - I've gotten your messages from Brian.

It's over

2010-05-12T20:25:00.000-04:00

Aimee's surgery lasted almost exactly three hours. Afterward, the surgeon stayed with her for about thirty minutes to make sure all was well. He had nothing but praises for how she was and how her body was reacting to the surgery. One worry about the surgery was the possibility of having a transfusion due to blood loss. This type of surgery is extremely invasive to facial tissue and can cause massive bleeding. True to form, Aim refused to be a normal patient. There was very little bleeding which aided the surgery immensely. All told:

- her lower jaw was cut away on both sides towards the back
- her upper jaw, the same
- her upper jaw was cut into three pieces and spread apart in the rear to widen her bite
- her septum had corrective surgery to widen passages
- a piece of cadaver bone was implanted in her chin to extend it properly
- pieces of her septum we removed and implanted in her upper jaws to fill in the voids created by the replacement of her jaws

That's just a summary of what happened. The details would take much, much more space. Back to the day's events... Aimee was supposed to be in the recovery room for 2 to 3 hours. After one hour, I was allowed to go see her in recovery for about 5 minutes.

Usually, no one is allowed in recovery, but in this case, the nurses had a feeling that she could be there a little longer than planned. Not due to any medical condition she had, but medical conditions others had. Apparently, there weren't any rooms in ICU available just yet. My first impression of Aimee was Wow. There wasn't much swelling, she was in great spirits, joking, making faces. It was a quick five minute visit. An hour later, I was able to visit for another five minutes. Another hour later, another five. Another hour later, another five. Another hour later, another five. How many hours is that? Seems that our reservation for the deluxe suite had been misplaced and we were waiting for an opening. Her frustration and discomfort were growing by the minute having to lay in an open room with a dozen or more other patients in varying degrees of discomfort themselves. It was bright, noisy and anything but restful. At 7:40pm, a room on the 4th floor ICU opened up and Aimee was moved to peace and quiet. Indeed, silence is golden. The nursing staff we met that night were wonderful. Every question answered, every request filled to make her as comfortable as possible. Had to leave a little after 10 that night. Day one was a turning point in her life. A new, healthier, happier person will emerge from this ordeal. But as of today, Aimee's comment at seeing pictures of her was "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww". Day one ended with the operation's effects settling in. Swelling, pressure, pain, difficulty breathing, nausea.

Look Ma, no hands!

Hmmmm, starting to look like John Madden

And the truth comes out !!!

Today's the Day

2010-05-12T13:33:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, May 11, 3:30 am. On behalf of Aimee (hubby here), what originally looked like a long twelve months of braces has flown by and today the start of another adventure begins. The day began very early for us, alarms going off at various times between 3 am and 3:30 am trying to prod us out of bed. Again, we thought we had plenty of time to leave the house and get to admissions by 5:30, but there's always last minute things to do. Animals fed, house secure, car packed with every item needed for 3 days in the hospital, we headed out at 5am. Traffic in DC is great at that hour. Made it in 20 minutes. Registered and signed in by 5:40. Then it was off to admissions. After a little waiting, we were ushered off to pre-op by 6:30. There the pace picked up. Aimee changing into her stylish but understated hospital gown, the anesthesiologist stopping by and inserting the IV. Another anathesiologist stopping by. A parade of nurses and then the surgeon, Dr. Posnick. All asking the same litany of questions over and over and over. We could only assume that they wanted to ensure that they worked on the correct body part when the time came, but really, Aimee only has one jaw so it's not like they could get that wrong.

Paperwork signed, all questions answered, and the time is now 7:40. The surgeon informs us that the procedure will start about 8:30. It should last 3 hours. After that, Aimee would be in recovery for 2 to 3 hours as they monitor her condition. Then she would be moved to ICU for at least 24 hours of round the clock care. The time has come for Aimee to go. The anesthesiologist injects the first of the drugs to carry her off to a blissful sleep. Took a second, but her eyes slowly became larger, a smile came across her face, and then she broke out into song. Yes, singing. Everyone bid goodbye and began wheeling Aimee through the doors marked "Authorized Personnel". The doors began to close and Aimee's song faded down the corridor.

This Is It!

2010-05-10T18:40:00.000-04:00

It's almost time - tomorrow is the big day we've been preparing for - one year in the making! Surgery will be at Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, D.C. We have to arrive at 5:30 am and surgery is set for 7:30 am. I'm first on the list so unless my surgeon decides to sleep in, I won't have to wait! :-)

It's my last supper...hahaha....so the meal tonight is surf & turf (ribeyes and shrimp) and artichokes. Ashley is joining us and opted for chicken and corn on the cob so we've got a bunch of things happening in the kitchen right now! I've been getting laundry done and packing things for the next three days in the hospital. Let's see...iPod, Kindle, computer, Flip, camera, dry-erase board and lots of chapstick. Some comfy clothes and socks round out the list! I think that's all we need.

My mental state right now is undetermined. I'm really not nervous for the surgery itself, more so about what to expect afterwards. How is it going to feel? What will I look like? How am I going to "say" what's on my mind??? And, of course, will it hurt? I suppose it won't be long now before I'll know. Brian will keep everyone updated and let you know how things are going. I'll be chomping (well, maybe not) at the bit wanting to turn on my computer, so as soon as I'm feeling up to it, I'll let everyone know firsthand how I'm doing.

Thank you to everyone for the well wishes and thoughts. I have complete trust in my surgeon and know that we're on the path to a much better life! See you on the other side! :-)

I'm Hooked!

2010-05-07T17:27:00.000-04:00

Last minute preparations are done! I made a visit to Dr. Gerlein's office today to have my surgical hooks put on - these will enable Dr. Posnick to keep my mouth in a good resting position during and after surgery and is what the bands will be attached to. It took quite a while and I'm a little sore, but all in all, it wasn't too bad! I feel, however, like I've got more metal in my mouth than a Transformer! :-) My visits to the orthodontist are always fun and full of laughs, everyone wishes me well and I even got a hug from Dr. G. I love you guys!!

Below are "final" pictures of what I look like now after nearly a year in braces...then a close up of the hooks I'm now sporting!

It's On! Bring It!

2010-05-06T15:11:00.000-04:00

I got the much anticipated phone call from my doctor today - my test results were in. And the results were...........negative!!! What a relief! Surgery is on as planned - here we go!

Livin' On The Wine...Oops, Wild Side!

2010-05-01T21:02:00.000-04:00

Ha! What do those doctors know anyway? I looked a little online and although doctors will warn of not having alcohol with my medication because it will make you violently ill, studies don't back up the claims. Of course, that gave me the go ahead to at least TRY it...just a sip or two, right??? Hey, I'm doing fine! Now, before I get scolded by BOTH moms...I'll have you know that I only had a few sips and that's it, I didn't have a glass so no scolding necessary! :-) But it was ohhhhhhhh so good! hehe

I Just Want A Glass Of Wine!

2010-05-01T11:58:00.002-04:00

Really....that's all I'm asking for......wine!!! Sadly, with the medication I'm taking, I can't drink a drop of alcohol. Apparently, the side effects are not good and unlike other medications, where they say you "shouldn't" drink anything, this one is "absolutely not!!" *sigh* On a positive note - I want to hug the person that created O'Doul's...it might not be the best, but it works! :-) (note: friends were visiting this past weekend and sadly, they didn't have O'Doul's so had to settle for St. Pauli - ick!)

Will It Happen?

2010-04-27T07:18:00.000-04:00

I started my antibiotics on Saturday and got two doses in before going to bed that evening. I woke up on Sunday and felt like a new person!! I've been feeling so crummy for so long now that I'd almost forgotten what it was like to feel good! This was a fantastic reminder! Sunday was a good day. :-) Monday rolled around and again, feeling better. I had to check in with both my dentist and doctor to let them know how I was feeling. After speaking with Dr. David, she said that although I was feeling better, she was going to call Dr. Posnick and discuss with him what has been happening. Every time I thought about this, my heart would sink because I've been anticipating the surgery date for so long and to have it postponed would be a bummer. Well, Dr. David called me back later on Monday to let me know that she spoke with Dr. Posnick and that for now, we're leaving the surgery date where it is! Yayyyy!! They're pretty confident that with the drugs I'm on, things will clear up and we should be able to move forward as planned. To be honest, with as cautious as my surgeon is, I was fully expecting to push the date back right away. I'm glad I was wrong. I'm not out of the woods quite yet but each day is better than the last. The plan is to finish my course of meds, the last day being next Monday. Then on Tuesday, I'll have to go back into the doctor for a re-check and testing. I should get results within 3 days and if everything comes back okay, surgery is on. All my crossables are crossed for positive news and I ask that you do the same!! :-)

Not So Fun

2010-04-24T23:01:00.000-04:00

Just another quick update. I've been feeling ill, on and off now, for about a month. As you know from my previous post, I developed a small gum infection and about three weeks ago, was treated for a UTI. Since I wasn't feeling well and because surgery is in only a couple of weeks, my dentist asked that I see a doctor she works closely with so we could figure out why I'm not feeling well. Dr. David ran a lot of tests and we've been waiting on the results. In the meantime, I developed a large lump, this time in the gums of my bottom jaw. Let me just say at this point that I have the most wonderful dentist in the world! It's Saturday, I'm in pain and have something obviously wrong. I call the emergency number, she immediately called me back and said to meet her at her office at 3 pm today. In the meantime, Dr. David called with the results of my tests. From the antibiotic I was taking for the UTI, I developed another infection, Clostridium Difficile (C. Diff). No wonder I've been sick!! Back to the dentist this afternoon - another infection. Dr. Penski cleaned out the infection and took great care of me as she always does. Unfortunately, my immune system has been compromised and it will take a bit for it to build back up. I'm now on two antibiotics and Dr. David will be talking with my surgeon on Monday to let him know what's been happening - I'll be very surprised at this point if they don't postpone my surgery. :-( I'm sick, I'm tired and I'm frustrated.

My Smile Is Infectious!

2010-04-20T17:56:00.000-04:00

Well....little setback. Went to get my teeth cleaned this morning and turns out the inflamed gums have a small infection. :-( Nothing that can't be taken care of, but nonetheless, it's a pain because we have to get it cleared up before surgery! The doc will be prescribing antibiotic and I have to go back next Thursday, the 29th, for a re-check to make sure things are healing up nicely. I did get my teeth cleaned, though and boy, does it feel (and look) good! :-)

Clean Me Up!

2010-04-20T09:17:00.000-04:00

Dental appointment this morning at 11:50! This will be my final cleaning before surgery, which is very important because I won't be able to have any dental work done for some time post-surgery. I also have to have them check out my gums. For the last week, I've had some inflammation over my front teeth that has been a little uncomfortable and looks terrible! We need to make sure there's no infection going on and fix whatever it is that's happening. Let's hope it's nothing!

Mock Surgery

2010-04-20T09:13:00.000-04:00

Had my final appointment with Dr. Posnick yesterday. This was to look at what he'll be doing during the surgery. VERY interesting! Here's a picture of what he puts together....then let me explain.

On the white plaster (top and bottom), the vertical lines to the left are where my jaws sit now. The green plaster is the mold of my jaws and where they will sit after surgery. You can see vertical lines on those, too. If you compare the lines (the left ones), you can see the distance he'll be moving each jaw forward. My top jaw will be moving 5 mm. My bottom jaw will move 1 cm. The top jaw will also be moved down a small distance and the bottom jaw will actually move up a bit to meet the top jaw. You don't see my chin on this model, but as I explained earlier, he will be correcting its position, as well, so that everything on my face is symmetrical. My chin will not be moving out much, but instead it will move down...to lengthen it. He will be moving it down anywhere from 5 to 8 mm.

There is one element of the surgery that we didn't know until yesterday and Dr. Posnick didn't know until he actually put the models together to do the mock surgery. Apparently, my top jaw is a bit more narrow than the bottom jaw and if he were to just move each of them forward to meet, I still would not have a correct bite. In order for them to meet properly, he will also be splitting my top jaw in half to widen it to meet the bottom. It will not be split a great distance, but enough to make top and bottom match. This will not make the healing a longer, but just a little more difficult. The issue is that the top jaw will want to go back to its original shape (narrow) so it's important to keep it in exactly the right position. In order to do this, I will have a splint in my mouth for the first 5 weeks after surgery that will allow my jaws to rest in their final surgical positions.

The pink splint is the one that will be used during surgery to keep the jaws in line. The white splint is the one that will be in my mouth for 5 weeks post-surgery. Once the splint comes out, it will be up to my orthodontist to continue to make the correct adjustments on my braces in order to maintain the width of my top jaw.

Whew......that's a mouthful! (yes, pun intended...haha)

Cleared for surgery!

2010-04-15T13:14:00.000-04:00

I had my pre-op physical on Tuesday with a new doc I found here in Arlington. Loved him! His name is Dr. Zweig - super nice guy and very thorough! Nothing special had to be done for my physical, just some blood work and a pulmonary test. The first pulmonary test I did wasn't so good.....the doc came in and said that if the readings were right, there was no way that he would clear me for surgery! Sweaty palm time! Well, it turns out I didn't do the test correctly so he had me re-take it. I passed with flying colors so my lungs are good! I received a phone call yesterday afternoon that my blood work came back normal and that I am officially cleared! Yayy!

Progress...

2010-04-14T14:25:00.000-04:00

Here are three sets of pictures from the surgeon. The first are the pictures they took at my first appointment. The second set is when I went in to have my first set of molds done after having had braces for a few months. The last set are the pictures they just took at our last appointment when they took the final models.

The Bare Bones...

2010-04-14T14:15:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was our visit with Dr. Posnick (surgeon) for my final jaw models, to discuss all the elements of my surgery and to answer any questions we had. Boy, did we! I'm SO glad Brian went along to this appointment. He's always got good ideas and he asks the things I would never even think about!

Here's the scoop. First, we took more pictures of my teeth and face. Brian got to come in and watch them and even saw the hideous plastic things they make me stick in my mouth to pull my lips away from my teeth. We giggled the entire time! Then they did my models, which means they put that nasty tasting stuff in the trays and cemented them to my teeth for 30 seconds to get a mold of each jaw. Let me tell you, that stuff is not fun to get out of braces! At this point, Dr. Posnick came in to take a look at things. They attached what looked like a torture device to my head to take measurements, and the Doc kept pinching my upper lips with his fingers. Brian said after the first couple of times, I looked like I was ready to slap him. LOL I never did ask what he was doing.....I'm not sure I want to know. While Brian and the Doc chatted, Neil (a resident of Dr. P's) took more measurements of my teeth and jaws and asked numerous questions of me like, "where is your jaw pain", "do you have clicking or popping", etc. Then it was time to get down to the nitty gritty - what to expect a month from now when I have this procedure done!

The surgery itself will take about 3 hours. He'd originally told me it would take 5 so I was more than pleased to hear it wouldn't be as long! At this point, he knows that he'll be moving my upper jaw out approx. 5mm and then down. My bottom jaw isn't quite as easy - it will need to come out a good distance to be where it should be, then another 5mm to match the upper jaw. The distance is TBD - I'll know more when I revisit him one more time. He'll also be lengthening my chin. It turns out I'll have a gap from extending both my upper jaw and my chin. Something needs to fill those gaps. That filler material? Bone! He tells me that I'll need a bone graft for those places, but that I've got two options. The first one is the most obvious...he would make a small incision (during surgery) in my hip and take my own bone. You're gonna love the second option! Freeze-dried cadaver bone! Yep, you read correctly...bones of a dead guy (or girl, of course). As is expected with me, as soon as I heard that, I got the giggles. lol I can't help it. We asked all the right questions: "What are the risks of my own vs. cadaver bone?", "Is there a reason why we would do one over the other?", etc. If they take my own bone, there is obviously some extra pain and recovery time. Dead guy bones? None. There was no overwhelming evidence pointing us towards using my own bone, so.....freeze dried it is!! How cool is that? :-)

When I'm out of recovery, I'll be moved to ICU for the rest of that day and overnight and if all goes well, I'll be moved out and into a regular room. Apparently there's a lot of bleeding afterward and unfortunately, much of it is swallowed so there's a good possibility that I'll get sick. In the (unfortunate) event that happens, I'll have the care I need to be able to get through it. Once I'm in a regular room, it's another night in the hospital. They'll teach both Brian and I all the care techniques we'll need to know and Dr. Posnick said I won't be discharged until we know everything very well!

Day Three.....if all goes as planned, I'll be able to head home. I'm already looking forward to that day! For the first two weeks, aside from having my computer on my lap or watching t.v., I can't do a thing. At two weeks, if I'm feeling up to it, I can return to work but in a very limited capacity. Basically, I can sit at my desk and use the computer. Not sure how well this will go since I don't like to sit still for a long time. I'll be eating through a syringe at the beginning, strictly liquids. The doctor said that if I'm feeling well enough after a week, I should be able to drink some liquids from a glass rather than use the syringe so I'm hopeful this will be the case. Liquid diet for 6 weeks, and then I can slowly move into some solids. Probably the worst part in all of this is that I won't be able to talk - or talk well anyway! For those of you that know me, you know this will be the most difficult thing I've ever had to endure...LOL. Brian will probably be a happy man! hahahaha

So, I'll have two bands on each side inside my mouth that are attached to the hooks on my braces. These are there to keep my jaws in a good resting position. Right after surgery and for the first couple of weeks, the muscles will be sore and damaged so I won't be able to move my jaw, even if I wanted to. However, once a week for 5 weeks, I'll visit Dr. Posnick, he'll remove the bands and will have me exercise my jaw, then the bands go back on. At our last visit, I must say that my mind was put at ease a little bit. I was very concerned about a few things..."What if I sneeze and open my mouth quickly?" "What if I cough and my mouth opens?" "What if I have to yawn?" I was concerned that any of these things might happen and I would do damage to what had just been done. Not the case. If my mouth opens, that's a good thing and it means I'm healing. It won't do any damage. In fact, he said that sometimes people get a little claustrophobic and feel a little closed in having the bands on. He told us that if I feel panicky like that, to just go ahead and snip the bands, get over my panic attack, then call him and he'll replace the bands the next day. Simple as that!

Lots of information to take in, but we're learning. Brian's been wonderful and is learning along with me. We go back in next Monday - the molds are done and Dr. Posnick has done the mock surgery! We get to see where my jaws will be when everything is all said and done! Yippee!!

The Countdown Begins

2010-03-31T17:36:00.000-04:00

41 days...I can't believe it! I went to see Dr. Gerlein yesterday afternoon and had the surgical wires put on. They're nothing special, just plain old wires but now without any adjustments because they don't want my teeth to move anymore. The next visit (and last for some time) will be May 7th when I go in to have the hooks placed on the brackets. They don't want to do it any sooner than just a few days before surgery because they'll be irritating and annoying. The hooks are for the bands that the surgeon will place on my teeth once the surgery is finished. They are what will keep my mouth in its resting position so I'm unable to open it. They'll also take some pictures of me when I go in so I'll have those to post so you can see my teeth straight before surgery! I'm getting really nervous......so much to do and so little time! We still have some recipes we need to try, along with getting a few necessities in the house for me to have when I get home from the hospital. This is really going to be interesting!

Wired!

2010-03-30T09:27:00.000-04:00

Where has the time gone? Things are moving along quickly - much faster than I ever anticipated! I visit Dr. Gerlein, my orthodontist, this afternoon at 4 p.m. to have my surgical wires put on. Up to this point, he's been focusing on moving my teeth to get them straight. Now, with only a little over a month to go until surgery, the focus changes. The surgical wires are being put on so my teeth STOP moving. You see, Brian and I visit Dr. Posnick, my surgeon, next week and he'll be doing the final models (molds of my jaws). Obviously, since they're the final ones and the ones that he'll work on to determine what he wants to do during surgery, my teeth can't move after this point. Yikes! Things are becoming just a little bit too real!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2010-03-12T09:51:00.000-05:00

Good news and bad news. The good news is that we received a letter from our insurance company, UnitedHealthCare, that my surgery is eligible for coverage. The bad news is that although the hospital is in-network, the surgeon is not, so the coverage is less than we'd hoped. The good news is that we have a $4,000 out of pocket max, the bad news is that with out-of-network coverage, they will only pay what's "reasonable & customary" so we'll also have to pay the balance between what the doc charges and what insurance will pay. All in all, it's not that bad and could be a TON worse. But as you all know, it's no fun to get ANY bill! :-) I suppose I should feel fortunate that we have coverage and have good coverage like we do!

Time is going by quickly...less than two months to go now. My next ortho appt. is for surgical wires, that's on March 30th. Then a visit with the surgeon on April 7th for final models and to talk about what to expect before, during and after. I'm getting nervous.

Still Waiting...

2010-02-24T17:51:00.000-05:00

No word yet from the insurance company as to how much of my surgery insurance is going to cover. When I initially called them and gave them the codes from my surgeon, all but two of the procedures were covered and the other two needed "more information". Fortunately, none were declined right off the bat. So I guess it's hurry up and wait...

Liquid Diet - Trial Run

2010-02-21T14:40:00.001-05:00

Well, we tried a couple of the recipes below. I must say that creamed asparagus isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It was tasty and definitely an option so that one stays on the "Good" list. To change things up, we added some chicken to it and it was even better. Also tried the Breakfast Protein Drink. This one will take a little more getting used to, but all in all, it was all right. Of course, the smoothie was a hit! We've also decided that each night when we make dinner from now on, no matter what it is, we're going to put some to the side and throw it all in the food processor and see what happens. It might prove to be fun!

Cream of Anything

2010-02-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

Since I'll be on a liquid diet for a minimum of 6 weeks, we now face the daunting task of finding recipes to make that are easy, yet edible! At the beginning, protein supplements, smoothies and shakes will be on the agenda. But understandably, those are going to get awfully boring! Today is shopping day! The plan is to get ingredients for a few recipes we've found to see what we think. Here's what we're cooking today:

Creamed Asparagus
Cream of Corn Soup
Breakfast Protein Shake
Mashed Potatoes & Gravy
Banana Yogurt Smoothie

Should be interesting.

Orthodontic Pictures

2010-02-20T09:44:00.003-05:00

Here are pictures taken on my first visit to Dr. Gerlein's office in April 2009 of what my teeth and bite looked like. Click on the thumbnail below for a larger view. More pictures to follow.

The Technical Side of Things

2010-02-20T09:38:00.001-05:00

In case anyone is interested in the technical side of things, here they are:

Dr. Gerlein (Orthodontist) - Diagnosis:

Gingival margins in the maxillary anteriors are uneven
Thin gingival tissue morphotype with localized areas of recession on the bicuspids
The front teeth in the upper dental arch are retrusively inclined
Lower front teeth are too far behind upper front teeth
Overbite is severe
Moderate maxillary crowding
Mild mandibular crowding

Dr. Posnick (Surgeon) - Diagnosis, Conclusion & Plan:

Diagnosis:

Jaw deformity with malocclusion
malocclusion characterized by Angle Class II deep bite
Angle Class II deep bite affects occlusion/chewing/bite; speech articulation and lip closure/posture
Grinds and clenches teeth
Gingival recession especially in the labial aspect of the posterior maxillary dentition

Conclusion:

Jaw deformity best corrected with orthodontic decompensation, followed by jaw surgery then finishing orthodontics

Plan:

Bilateral sagittal split osteotomies of the mandible with advancement
Le Fort I osteotomy with horizontal advancement, vertical lengthening and transverse widening
Chin osteotomy
Septoplasty

Fast Forward

2010-02-19T15:41:00.001-05:00

I've now given the basics of what's happened in the last 9 months and we'll fast forward through to the present. Wow, I can't believe I've had my braces on for 9 months, it's incredible! The time has flown by and to be very honest, even though I still don't like them, they aren't THAT bad. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely can't wait for them to be off my teeth, but I'm dealing with them rather well, I think. At first, I was embarrassed and didn't want anyone to notice them. Now I have a great time at each visit to the orthodontist when I can pick fun colors! I've got them, might as well show them off, right?? What's really crazy (to me, anyway) is that on March 30th, I have my next orthodontist appointment - this time to stop the movement on my teeth! It's nothing to be giddy about though, it doesn't mean that I'm done with orthodontia just yet. But, it does mean that we're on schedule for surgery. What has to happen is that on the 30th, they'll put new wires on my teeth that will no longer allow my teeth to go anywhere at all. They have to do this because I see the surgeon on April 7th and at that time, he'll take my final mouth molds. He will actually use these final molds to do the surgery on them before he does it on me, so that he knows exactly what he has to do. Brian and I will be seeing the surgeon together this time so he can explain everything to us in detail about what's going to happen before, during and after the actual operation itself. There's SO much to know and learn. What I do know so far is that I will be in the hospital for three days. My mouth will not be wired, but banded shut. I will have very little movement of my jaw for the next 6-8 weeks. I will have to visit the surgeon once a week for 5 weeks and each time, he will apparently take more bands off as the healing progresses. During the first 6-8 weeks, I will be on a strictly liquid diet and will eat for at least the first few weeks with a syringe. Once some of the bands come off and I begin healing, I'll slowly be able to use a small spoon or sippy cup but the food will still need to be the consistency of a puree. I will not be able to talk much at all (oh dear, what will I do???) and will use a dry erase board to communicate at first. I will have a large amount of bruising and swelling throughout the first 6 weeks and they've said I'll lose 25-30 lbs with the liquid diet and once the swelling and bruising go away, I will look very different. I hope to return to work 2-3 weeks after surgery.

What I've told you above is the main reason for this blog. I will continue to post from this point forward as I know more. I'll also be posting pictures. What a change this is going to be!

Surgical Preparations

2010-02-19T14:52:00.001-05:00

Not all insurance companies like to pay for jaw surgery. So, in order for us to get all our information together to submit to UnitedHealth, I've got some work to do. I have to visit a Speech Therapist, an ENT and Dr. Posnick also wants me to have a sleep study done, which I'm still not quite sold on. So I visited the Speech Therapist first and learned a lot! She asked me some questions that some people would think were a little strange - "Do you chew predominantly on one side?" "Do you completely chew your food before you swallow it?" Well, come to think of it, I ONLY chew on my left side and I never chew food down to a small piece. Why, you might ask? Well, chewing for me is literally a pain in the jaw. It's very difficult and a huge strain. So, the less I have to chew something, the better off I am. Luckily, I haven't choked on anything yet! :-) Back to the speech lady - I had to say the alphabet and read statements that were typed on a piece of paper. All in all, the appointment took only a short time and she sent me on my way, telling me that she would send the report to my surgeon. Next up, the ENT, who confirmed my deviated septum which will also be taken care of at the time of my jaw surgery, as it's very simple to get to and complete and hey, if they're already in there, why not?

Adult Orthodontics

2010-02-19T14:42:00.001-05:00

May 25th, 2009. So obviously I went back to see Dr. Gerlein to tell him he was right (well, halfway anyway) about the jaw surgery. He did more x-rays, more molds and today was the day I got my braces on. I was NOT excited! I love to eat and I knew it was really going to put a damper on that! The whole process was really quick, it only took about an hour, and I instantly didn't like them. I felt like when I smiled, the braces stuck out about 2 feet! To say I was self-conscious is an understatement! Eight weeks till my next appointment. I pouted all the way home. Fast forward about two weeks - they were annoying, but not necessarily painful. I was having a very difficult time chewing and could never quite find a comfortable way to do it. And the food that gets stuck in the braces - whew!!! Thank goodness for all the little brushes and picks Dr. G gives me or I'd go crazy!

The Very Beginning

2010-02-19T13:47:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone! I've decided to start a blog to chronicle my journey through adult orthodontics and also through my upcoming jaw surgery. Let me tell you how this all started. I'd gone many years with pain and discomfort in both jaws, primarily the lower. The strain from talking, yawning, chewing - you name it - was irritating. My dentist wanted to refer me to an orthodontist. I was a bit leery. What would it cost? What needs to be done? How long will this take? I'm nearly 40 years old, I can't have braces!!! After much prodding by my wonderful husband (bless his little heart...lol), I decided that it couldn't hurt to meet with the orthodontist and get more information. April 2009 was my first appointment - I walked into the office of Dr. Gerlein in Chevy Chase, MD and knew immediately that I was in the right place! After numerous x-rays and an exam, the verdict was in. My jaws were a) too small and b) not growing correctly, hence the pain and difficulties I was having. Dr. Gerlein said it looked like I would have to have surgery on my bottom jaw to bring it forward, but that before he did anything, I would need to see a surgeon to confirm his diagnosis. Next step - make an appointment with the surgeon. May 2009 I meet with the surgeon, Dr. Posnick, also in Chevy Chase, MD. They already had my x-rays from the orthodontist, but still needed to take lots of pictures inside my mouth for the doc to see, as well as molds of my teeth. The sit down with Dr. Posnick went well, although it was a little overwhelming at first. He did confirm what Dr. Gerlein had said, that I would need surgery - but on not one, but both jaws and my chin. The plan would be to move both my upper and lower jaws forward and down. Same thing with my chin, to make everything symmetrical. Then, while they're in there, they'll repair my deviated septum, as well. But before any of this happens - braces! And the story begins...